Do I have your attention? Here's a topic that is never addressed, but affects all pregnant women. I'll tell you straight up that I am opposed to vaginal exams. No pregnant woman should have one. Let me tell you why.
First of all, there are a few bits of information that a vaginal exam can tell you. They can, of course, tell you if the cervix is dilated and softening, effacing, or thinning (all meaning the same thing), and what station the baby is at, meaning, where the baby is in relation to the pelvis. None of these bits of information will tell you when labor will start.
OBGYNs, and midwives alike, usually start doing vaginal exams between 36-38 weeks, just to see what's happening. Literally, just to see what's happening. Likely, nothing is happening!
You can walk around dilated for weeks. I recently had a student walk around 5 cm. dilated for about 4 weeks. She was even 90% effaced. It meant nothing. She gave birth nearly a week past her "due date." But her family had come to town when they found out she was that far along, plans were being postponed, and she was in the "any minute" mode. She was contracting too, but it would fizzle out after several hours. She finally had to send everyone home and just wait.
These women who are dilated, and know it, often are the ones that get induced. Not because of medical reasons, but because they just couldn't stand the emotional roller coaster anymore. Their labor should have been the easiest!
Let's say you are told that you are not dilated at all -- the cervix is hard -- not soft at all. How do you feel? Sad. Like your body doesn't work right. Like you might be pregnant forever! But if it's one of the first vaginal exams, you probably still have hope that the next one will be better. Well, what if it's not? What if even the next one tells you the same thing after that? Now how do you feel? You are probably signing up for an induction because you have no confidence in your body to do this on its own. Even if you aren't looking at your calendar for an induction date, you know that you are starting from "zero." Emotionally, this is so hard. You know that your body, when it does start labor, is going to have to work that much harder. You start doing labor math (your enemy), thinking your labor just got that much longer, and now you are resigned to have an epidural because it's just so hard and so long.
Do you see where I am going with this? Women can be dilated and not be in labor, and likewise, a woman who is not dilated can start labor and give birth that same day. I've been that person! It happens.
Vaginal exams in pregnancy put you on an emotional roller coaster that no pregnant woman needs to be on! The end of pregnancy is hard enough, physically and emotionally. It's usually an anxious time, and vaginal exams just add to that anxiety, often creating more stress.
Bottom line (no pun intended): There is no medical reason to have a vaginal exam, but loads of reasons to avoid them. I didn't even address the "accidental" stripping of membranes, even possible breaking of water. I've known lots of women who are worried about bleeding a few hours afterwards, not knowing that their membranes had been stripped. Again, adding to the anxiety...
It's hard to say no -- everyone is curious -- even me! But have faith in your body. The vaginal exam road is worth saying off of! It's like I always say, the baby will come out! Your body will start labor when the time is right for baby and for mom.
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