We had a great meeting and discussion this week at the Tarrant County Birth Network meeting. One of our topics was circumcision. I've written quite a bit on the blog about circumcision, but I haven't addressed the social reasons that I hear so frequently regarding the decision. So let's talk about them. If I miss any, please comment below and we'll try to address them all.
If you have not read about the purpose of the foreskin previously, I want you to do that now. Click here.
The foreskin is obviously not just a flap of skin. It has many purposes. So why are 50% of American males still being circumcised? It's these social traditions or concerns that need to be addressed.
1. We want him to to look like his dad. A little boy looks no more like his dad than a little girl looks like her mother. Things grow bigger and grow hair, which, in my opinion, is much more distracting than the foreskin! Mostly, after the first couple of years of life, when does a boy ever see his father naked? My 14-year-old intact son has no idea what his father looks like and vice versa. Frankly, in my opinion, it's a really odd and disturbing argument.
2. What about the locker room? Won't he be made fun of? Maybe 20, 30, 40 years ago, but with 50% of males not being circumcised, it becomes a matter of education in my opinion. When my son went to 5th grade we knew he would be dressing out for PE. We sat him down and told him about circumcision. He was, to say the least, appalled -- very much the same way you were when you found out about episiotomies. We explained that we researched it and felt there was no reason to do it and that most parents do it because of tradition. He knows that those kids' parents probably just didn't know any better. He politely thanked us for "not doing that" to him.
Last year, in 8th grade, I asked him if it was ever an issue, and he laughed. He said, "No one is looking! Creepy!" As a side note, as a boy grows into a man, it becomes less and less obvious that he is not circumcised, especially when it is erect. This is, again, in my opinion, an argument made by (jealous?) men envious of their intact friends who are, on average, 25% longer than the circumcised male. Just saying.
3. Isn't it cleaner to be circumcised? There has been misconception about smegma, the tiny, white, ball-like substance that the foreskin produces. In the past, by those that don't understand it's purpose, it's been thought to be unclean. In fact, just the opposite it true. The foreskin is self-cleaning, as smegma is antiviral and antibacterial. No soap is required, just warm water in the shower, later, when the foreskin retracts on its own. Next time you hear someone say in regards to circumcision, "I guess, as long as he is taught how to properly clean himself..." you can let them know that remaining intact is not unclean. That is part of the misconception, created by a society that wanted males circumcised because they believed it prevented masturbation. Seriously? I guess when 20,000 nerve endings are removed... Mostly, he'll just never know what he's missing.
4. Circumcision was a law in the Old Testament so we should follow that law. It must be noted that circumcision was nothing in the Old Testament like it is in America today! Removing as much as 80% of the penile covering is not what was going on back then! It was more like a nick in the foreskin. Of course, circumcision is still a part of religions today, so I am mainly addressing those of the Christian faith at this point. If you continue reading the New Testament, it's very clear that the law of circumcision, along with many other laws, were done away with through the blood of Christ. I'll encourage you to search that out. For my LDS readers, it is stated many other places as well -- The Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants.
5. Circumcision prevents being sexually active at an early age. Seriously?
6. His future wife will think it's ugly and wish he was circumcised. Who comes up with this stuff? Very likely, she won't even know the difference. I have friends that had no idea their husband wasn't circumcised until he told her.
7. I'm leaving it up to my husband to decide. Why? It's not his penis in jeopardy! Your baby cannot speak for himself and he needs his mother to advocate for him. This is where we get into informed consent issues. I'm convinced that one day a boy/man will sue his parents over this issue. If you think that "he has a penis, he knows what it's like," it's a different time today than it was 30 years ago. Parents are educating themselves and questioning (foolish) traditions. This is surgery for your baby. Both parents should be making this decision, not one or the other. What about letting your son decide for himself?
8. Better to do it now since he won't remember it. Babies feel pain more acutely than adults, they just can't say so. This argument also implies that it will have to be done later, which is highly unlikely. See the argument below.
9. It's better to do it now than later when it's more painful. I compare this argument to elective cesarean (surgery that is not needed) and cesarean with an OB or midwife who has an extremely low cesarean rate (only doing surgery when it's truly required). Some doctors or pediatricians have no idea about the intact male. They try to pull the foreskin back at each appointment because they haven't researched it or know any better. They are looking for things to go wrong. We all know what happens when you have an OB like that -- you have surgery. The same is true for an intact male. It is very important that you have a pediatrician/family practice doctor who is up-to-date on the intact male. If they are supportive of not circumcising (supportive, not compliant) and for whatever reason believes that your son needs to be circumcised (extremely rare), then you won't need to second-guess that decision. It's always best to get more than one opinion, regardless.
10. His brother(s) is circumcised, so we have to keep doing it. Two wrongs don't make a right. The cycle has to stop somewhere. I've had guys in class tell stories about some of the boys in their families being circumcised and others not, and not once have they made it to be a big deal. They all knew why some were and some weren't. I even had one guy say that he and his brother didn't know that one was and one wasn't until they were adults and their mom was talking about it as they were making the decision for their baby. As far as who is envious of the other, I can't help but think it will be the circumcised male that is envious of his intact brother.
Just a couple other things to touch on: Female circumcision has been in the news quite a bit lately. When we mentioned it the other day at our meeting, everyone cringed. Why do we do that when we are talking about females, but not males? Why? It's the same thing. Think about it.
I like to see parents take this bold step in protecting their sons. Some are breaking tradition and bucking the system. Chances are, if you are reading this blog, this isn't the only area you are breaking out of the mold! When we chose not to circumcise our son, 14 years ago, we had no friends that didn't circumcise their sons. As the months went by, we found out that most of his male cousins aren't circumcised either. We found it was more prevalent than we had thought when we made the decision. That is great, but it is so important that we share this information with expectant parents.
The 9th step to the Mother Friendly Childbirth Initiative is to discourage non-religious circumcision. Discourage is an action word!
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