Birth in the Eyes of My 13-Year-Old Daughter

I asked my oldest daughter, Vena, (13) if she'd like to write a guest post for me this week about her perspective on birth.  Some of the things she has said over the last few months has made me realize that she really has been listening.  And reading.  I have years of Mothering Magazines laying around and I'm pretty sure they've read a lot of them.  She's pretty extremist in her statements (I'm a little more forgiving!), but I thought you'd enjoy what she has to say.  She wrote this in about 30 minutes, so it's something she obviously thinks about often.  I'm so proud of her.

My name is Vena Ryan.  I'm a thirteen-year-old girl. Birth has always been part of life for me (what with my mom being a natural childbirth teacher).  It seems so strange to me to hear someone make fun of pregnancy or childbirth.  Birth has always seemed to be a beautiful and unique process that women alone are privileged with... because it is.

One day, one of my friends and I were talking about natural childbirth. When she told me that she never wanted to have children, I was very surprised. One of my other friends added that she just wanted to adopt a child.  I think that adoption is a wonderful gift for people that can't have children, and of course for any couple. But wouldn't they also want to hold a beautiful baby in their arms one day, and be able to say that the baby was theirs, and know how hard they worked for the baby.  When I asked my friends why, they simply replied, "it would hurt too much." One girl added, "The baby can get stuck in a tube and kill you." While another added, "It's already too hard being on a period every month."

A lot of people view natural childbirth as a life threatening process... but it's not. I believe that women were meant to give birth naturally for a reason. Natural birth was the way God intended women to have birth. And breastfeeding was how women are supposed to feed their babies. Breastfeeding was a way provided so that the baby could get milk from the mother. It's much more healthy for the baby - even for their teeth! (And you're less likely to get breast cancer if you breastfeed your baby.)

A lot of girls my age complain about how painful being on their period is. Many girls whine and complain about how mad they are when they've started, but I view it as a good sign - that the body is working right. And with a positive attitude, cramps really aren't that bad.

When I was little, I was really scared of giving birth. "It's going to happen to me one day... man! Men are so lucky!" I would often think in my head. Though as I grew older, I began to realize what a privilege birthing is. It's a wonderful experience that should be embraced without drugs.

C-sections are supposed to be for big emergencies, but in our time, doctors treat every birth like an emergency.   "The baby is just too big, I highly recommend a c-section."  Doctors sometimes scare women into getting a c-section.  But the body won't make the baby too big to be birthed naturally! The body knows what it's doing.  Sometimes, it's more important to trust your body than your doctor.

I attended a birth recently, and often, the woman would say, "Baby in my arms. I'll have a baby in my arms."
That reminded me of what my mother used to say to me when I asked her if birthing me was difficult. "It was worth it."

When you birth your baby naturally, you can look back and think about how much work you did.  It was worth it!  And you can feel proud of yourself for how much work you put forth.

I believe that natural childbirth is a wonderful experience that should be celebrated!