Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mothers Day 2012

Well here I find myself adding on yet another Mothers Day. In a much different position to where I was just one year ago. One year ago, doesn't seem THAT long ago but really it was..

One year ago I so eloquently posted about the perfect mothers day http://www.lotsoflittlekids.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Mothers%20Day and one year later my perfect mothers day seems so different.

My heart and mind felt more abundantly blessed or fulfilled just one year ago then it does now. I guess when your in a battle and you rely on the Lord to fulfill your innermost being then you feel Him close to you.

My perfect mothers day (this year) would have consisted of a multitude of praise, and wonder, and appreciation, of recognition, of heartfelt inspiration to keep at what I do.. Yet I find myself somewhat empty..

I would have liked to have hung around a tonne of mothers talking about anything and everything while the children played and the men did whatever they do..

One year ago I had the 5 yr old, 3yr old, 1yr old and 2 month old. My heart soared and as I expected to fall pregnant at the 9 month post baby birth date that has come and gone 5 months ago and alas I find myself not pregnant and actually feeling sad and desperate about it.

I'm aware of many women unable to conceive and wonder if I now join those ranks (even with having conceived 5 times in 5yrs).

Anyway, I wasn't going to go public with that as I know how controversial it can be. That is simply where I'm at.

I didn't receive any fancy gift bar a pair of actual smelly roses from one special sister-i-love (like that one V?), while hubby slaves in the kitchen over pizza for his family (yum yum).

5 Things I am Thankful for:
1. God
2. Husbands
3. Children
4. Words
5. Hugs, Kisses and special looks

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