There's always a couple of things that happen during the week that spark an idea for the weekly blog post. The first was a question one of my former students posed on her Facebook page about letting her seven-week-old baby cry to sleep. The other was a conversation with an old friend.
Remember when you were in the grocery store and an older woman stopped you and told you to enjoy your babies while they are little? One day they will be grown and you'll wonder where the time has gone. Alisa (yes, the Alisa that sparked my journey towards natural birth) and I were talking about this yesterday -- how we couldn't really grasp what the "old" lady was saying at the time. But now, well, it's happening. Neither of us have little babies and toddlers at home at anymore. They are all in school.
I was telling my 15-year-old this week that if he could just see the big picture, he would probably do things a little differently. I told him even at 25, I'm not sure I could see it. At nearly 41, I'm seeing the big picture a bit clearer.
My 50-something-year-old cousin -- a prison guard -- made this comment on his Wall this week: I remember as a parent, a swat across the butt would get their attention. Now as a grandparent a hug gets their hearts....and mine. I've finally figured out that their hearts are more important than their attention. I guess the old saying is true...by the time you are old enough to be a grandparent, you are mature enough to be a parent.
I'm not quite there yet - thankfully - but I'm seeing what the "old" people are talking about. When Darcy was still small enough to hold, maybe 3 or so, I told her that one day I wouldn't be able to hold her anymore. She got real sad and refused to believe that was true. We went one by one through the other kids and I asked her if she ever sees me carry them. At the time, the only one taller than me was my son. The image of me carrying him around made Darcy giggle. She's tried to stay small, but it's not working out! She's almost 7 now, and needless to say, I can't carry her anymore.
I have a house with bigger kids now. Two of my kids are taller than me now. They all go to sleep on their own and sleep through the night. They can mostly take care of themselves. Darcy still needs some help, but it's readily available by other people besides just me. I can leave the house by myself almost whenever I need to. Rarely do I have someone sitting on my lap. I don't get to read to anyone much anymore now that they all can do that on their own. The slings I carried them in are all tucked neatly away in their baby buckets.
My point? These phases that we are in -- even the ones that seem like they will last forever -- don't. They will end. Every day we make memories and lay a foundation. Hold your babies. You cannot spoil them. I do think you can "spoil" an older child, but that's a story for another day! A baby's needs and wants are the same thing.
I keep telling myself, "This too shall pass" with the 15-year-old, but unfortunately, I've got 3 more right behind him! Ha! I'll do my best to follow my own advice and love them, enjoy this time, knowing it won't last forever. I wish the baby phase back -- not sure I'll wish for the teenage years back though!
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