The begining of this day... well... let's just say I'm not a proud mother, or house keeper, or wifey...
I didn't have Michael's work uniform washed, nor did he have socks, nor did I get him any breakfast. In fact I didn't even get out of bed! I am fairly certain I may have grunted a remark or two.
The children ate chips for breakfast, as in hot chips that were now cold. Which I know is a bad thing because it means that in half an hour to an hour they'll be begging for food which is rather irritating for them and me but if it doesn't happen they just get cranky.
I was trying to do everything, but nothing was getting done. The lounge needs a make over, the kitchen needs renovating (or just cleaning up), the hall way was overgrown with dirty laundry baskets, the laundry needs cleaning out and tidying, washing put away, the toilet needs a clean and a mop, the bathroom floor is flooded (permanently), the school room has been piled high with junk that needs sorting, the clothes room (Cos Yes! I DO have a room dedicated to our clean washing!!) needed clothes put away, socks paired, hangers removed, and I do need to pull the babies next size clothing out of the box & put a heap away, AND the children's bedroom is in desperate need of toys being packed away correctly and removed from their room!!
If you've been in my house you know that is EVERY room in the house! & that isn't even putting a foot outside. It usually doesn't take long but when you've got a demanding pretty princess baby and two kids who want to do their own thing without helping you and one toddler that just wants to throw things it is really hard to grab hold of that motivation and just do it. 1. because you are occupied with sitting down feeding, & 2. because when your not feeding a baby your dealing/playing with other children.
If you've had a meal at my dining table you'll know that tidying the kitchen involves removing the kitchin table, chairs, high chair and booster seats and pulling the mop, bucket and scrubbing brush out. It involves washing dishes, drying dishes, putting dishes away. And it also means preparing for the next meal. Which was hard work because we have little food left in the house (shopping in half an hours time). But I managed.
The children ended up helping, getting dishes done, rubbish put out, bins brought in, vacuuming the house, and picking up toys. The kitchen floor got mopped good, and swept twice. Clothes got put away.
Amongst the busy-ness which involved routine home maintenance it is somewhat distressing that so much of my time is spent on housework, and child training. Except in my case today was more mummy-crankiness & children knowing to get on MY case today. My poor kids.
It led me to thinking about their attitudes, their servant heart attitudes, their obedience attitude, their level of happiness... Which made me feel so inadequate. I still feel inadequate. The house is still a mess, I'm still cranky, the kitchen needs cleaning again, there is more washing to be put away, more washing to wash.
Some days, some days you are hoping for a wonderful day, great training, wonderful attitudes,.. and then it hits me. It is these days, that trains the character, trains the attitude, trains the servant hearts. Every little day, habits are formed, lessons are learnt, and we grow. But we do not see the growth occur until we look back and think wow, look how far we came. We used to be that little now look how big we are, how much we've grown. IF ONLY, I was so diligent in the RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW, then in 6 months time the right here right now would be 6 months more growth than now.
I take the children to dancing once a week. I've thought what the point is. Just an hour. But it becomes lots of hours, lots of training, lots of learning and shock horror those kiddies can dance. The journey is a ton of fun, and lots of laughter, more for me then them.
And so, in the midst of a day,
I soldier on, working for the Lord, with only little eyes to watch and see, with no promotions, or big pay packet or recognition from the outside world. Just that He sees, He knows, He hears the silent screams within the heart.
Resurrection - Check this out!!
Tomorrow, Let us hope that tomorrow brings with it the deep inner feeling of peace, and joy, and above all Love...
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