If you'll indulge me in a little story telling, I'll tell you just how the name came about.
I have been a Natural Childbirth Educator since 2003. I had my first baby with an epidural in 1996, followed up with a fabulous unmedicated birth in 1999. I have had 2 more unmediated births since then. My message to all women? You can do this! Don't be afraid! Birth is transformative. You are strong!
I found myself at playgroups and church telling every pregnant woman why she should have an unmedicated birth and seek out midwifery care. It's an amazing experience that you only experience so many times in life. Don't miss out on it!
By 2003, I had to do something with this knowledge and excitement for natural birth. I got certified to teach classes and have taught over 300 couples since. I love my "job."
In early 2006, I attended a baby shower with some women from church that I barely knew. I had only lived here for about seven months. Several of us seriously got into it. It was ugly. It was all about inductions and trusting your doctor. We fought over being informed or, in my eyes, remaining ignorant. Seriously -- ugly.
The rest of the day was yucky. I knew I had not accomplished anything but alienate this group of women. I called several of them before going to church the next day to apologize. Awkward.
After that experience, I told my husband that I could never put myself in that situation again. Teaching to people who want the information would be my only "outlet." Most people know what I do professionally. If they want information, they can come ask me.
I simply find it impossible to sit and listen to a group of ill or mis-informed women talk about pregnancy, labor, or birth and not say anything. Laughing about inductions and c-sections and how necessary they are is not my idea of fun. Most baby showers make a mockery of this sacred event.
So I stopped attending baby showers. Word spread pretty quickly, and the story of that famous baby shower must have also spread, as few people have questioned me about it over the years! The fact that my blog title runs the length of my back windshield also clues people in -- don't bother inviting me. (As a side note, I had several people -- usually women who struggle with infertility -- tell me over the years how they wish they could ban themselves from baby showers, too.)
I've always liked writing and my husband has bugged me for years to write a book. He said the title should be "Banned From Baby Showers." He's so funny and clever. We laughed over it, and when I decided to write a blog, "Banned From Baby Showers" became the title. This is my book! I've been writing this blog for almost 3 1/2 years now.
So, when I talk about "Banned From Baby Shower moments," I'm referring to those experiences with your friends, family, or co-workers over childbirth. The ones where you have to make a decision about whether to give information, or just walk away from the conversation to avoid a fight.
I do continue to have Banned From Baby Shower moments, but they are far fewer these days. I write this blog and I say whatever is on my mind. If you don't like it, don't read it! This is the one place I let it all hang out. Deep down, however, I hope something strikes a chord within you that maybe you can have your baby without drugs. Like I said in my "About Me," I hope reading my blog changes your life.
No comments: