Monday, August 19, 2013

A Post For Dads-To-Be About Taking a Natural Birth Class

This is a post for dads.  Childbirth classes would not be nearly as fun without dads!  Our materials at Birth Boot Camp were created with him in mind.  We want birth to be an amazing experience for dad too.  It often seems that while the moms are excited for class, a lot of dads are less than excited and don't really see the point of sitting through a 10-week class.  I have this concern voiced every-now-and-then, so I wanted to take a minute to talk about it. I will be very honest, as usual. No beating around the bush.

First of all, 10 weeks is a long class. If your wife is looking into Birth Boot Camp classes, she has likely researched enough to know that Birth Boot Camp statistics are some of the best when it comes to unmedicated births. This is very cool that she wants to birth your baby without drugs -- which is better for her and your baby. The majority of women are so afraid of this experience, so it's great that she wants to embrace it. You should be proud of this, proud of her! Let's help her do this!

Only about 5-10% of women give birth without medication. This statistic matters to you because it is very likely that your care provider does not know what to do with a woman who does not want to be induced or have an epidural. I have a lot of dads question, "If women have done this since the beginning of time, why do we need a $300 class to teach us what to do?" Valid question. Here is my answer:

Women didn't have a lot of choices until about the last 100 years when it came to childbirth. Once birth moved from a woman's bedroom into the hospital, she gave up a lot of "control" in her birth. Drugs, surgical instruments, and drugs to numb her body and mind were/are readily available. Doctors were/are trained in abnormality and how to "get the baby out" by augmenting labor and birth. Cesarean birth has become so acceptable, no one questions its use and it is presumed safe, or even safer than vaginal birth by many people, including many doctors. Women today face issues that women in previous generations did not. Truly, a couple often finds themselves fighting to have an unmedicated, intervention-free birth.

A Birth Boot Camp class teaches about the process of birth, when intervention, medications, or surgery really is necessary, nutrition and exercises to stay low-risk, and possibly the most important - relaxation techniques to help her through the process. You both are so prepared for this amazing event that you will never forget. It is not just another day in your life. It does matter how the baby gets here.

Dads, let me tell you some things I've seen in couples that seem to be obstacles in this process and even a lot of relationships.

1. Money - When money becomes the issue - not paying for a doula, or a birth tub, or for classes that will empower you with the skills and knowledge you both need - this is a problem. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. She is looking down, watching her belly getting bigger and bigger, as the reality sets in that this baby has to come out, whether it's vaginally or by c-section. A lot of women have a deep fear of being cut open and know that the best way to avoid this is to not have medications. She has a need to talk with other women who have been through this and who are going through the same thing. She needs information. Everyone around her and in the media is telling her how awful childbirth is and she is afraid of the unknown. When you say that you not willing to spend the money on her "road map" you are telling her that you don't care. It is selfish.

I've seen the look on women's faces in class when she says that her husband won't pay for a doula. Embarrassment and disappointment best describe the look, but it's followed up quickly with justifying his answer. I've seen the same women end up with a c-section. You know that they will always wonder if their husband had paid the $500 for a doula, maybe she wouldn't have had surgery. She will be the one to reflect on that for the rest of her life, not you. A woman's birth experiences mean everything to her. I know you may not understand that, but please be respectful of it. Help her on this journey. Don't place money above your wife's needs/desires when it comes to childbirth. It will be a wonderful thing for your relationship. Trust me. It shows her that you value this experience too and that you will support her.

2. "I'm too busy." What does this say to your wife? "I don't have time to do this with you. Figure it out on your own. Read a book." Again, women need to be encouraged by and learn from women who have given birth without medication. That is the entire reason I became interested in natural birth -- I had a girlfriend who gave birth without an epidural and I thought "If she can do it, so can I."  I know that everyone's lives are busy. Nothing is more important, however, than welcoming a new person into your family. Labor/birth serve as a bridge between pregnancy and parenthood.

I have seen relationships grow through the course of the 10 weeks. It is a privilege to be a part of a couple's life at this time as they work together to bring their baby into the world. I attended a birth several years ago where he was in her ear, talking to her, loving her, the entire labor. The room was dark. He was attentive and knew just what to do. I had left the room for a moment, and on my way back, I walked past a brightly lit room where a laboring mom had just arrived. Lots of nurses were gathered around her, hooking her up to the fetal monitor, placing her IV, etc., while her husband sat in a corner watching TV. This event had nothing to do with him. I walked back into the almost dark room where this laboring mom was leaning on a birth ball with her husband rubbing her back. It was such a beautiful birth. I was so struck by the fact that this couple truly brought their baby into the world together, in every sense of the word.

3. Accountability. I believe that many dads would be happy if their wife just wanted the epidural. I've known lots of dads who wish this was the case. It would make their job easier. Yes, that is true. It's easier to just leave everything up to the doctor, right? Been there, done that. Except that I was the one who wanted the epidural and my husband wished I had a desire to do it naturally. (He didn't tell me this until I actually did have #2 naturally.) He was so proud of me. It's that ignorance-is-bliss attitude. If your wife is wanting information, do not try to take this approach. Be accountable and be her advocate. The payoff is tremendous.

4. "I don't want to watch the birth. I think I'll get sick." You'll likely surprise yourself. Birth is only a few minutes. Labor is usually hours. This is when your wife really needs you. Birth is usually not really a bloody event, despite how it's portrayed on TV. It is almost impossible to work so hard for 20 hours, only to step out of the room at the time of birth. You'll be fine. Don't let this "excuse" keep you and your wife from being prepared.

5. "I can't see her in that much pain. I don't think she can do it without drugs." This is what she will hear from the whole world. Please don't let her hear it from you. You are her team! She needs your support and encouragement. And take it from me, if I can do it, she can do it. My husband says I could never have made it across the plains as a Pioneer!

I have taught classes for over 10 years and I have had many women sitting in my class that I have wondered if they could do it. They always amaze me. I have seen women transformed by this experience. Women who were shy and withdrawn find their voice and self-confidence. Birth is everything in a woman's life. She can do it!

Thank you for staying with me on this. I know this was long. I just want to see more men supporting their wives in having unmedicated births. You do not have to give birth to this baby. She does. Help make this a joyous experience in her life. One that empowers her, not degrades her or even causes her to resent you because of your lack of support. You'll be surprised at how it will transform your life as well, including the love your wife has for you as you support and encourage her. See you in class which starts November 8, 2013 and runs through January 17, 2014.
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Saturday, August 17, 2013

C&E 1st Blog List Grows by One: Parents of Christina

We are happy to announce the addition of a new blogger to our blog list - Parents of Christina.  The comments at PoC are not enabled, but the group also operates a facebook page by the same name where anyone can join in the conversation.

And in case you didn't know:

Thanks to an awesome blogger widget, the C&E 1st blog list serves as a conduit to the latest headlines at all of your favorite edu-political blogs.  We're the niche springboard for readers who don't want to a million RSS feeds flooding into their personal electronic devices.  At right, you'll find the blog list complete with the names of the blogs we follow and their most recent headlines.

Parents of Christina, Welcome to the List!
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Friday, August 16, 2013

Share It Saturday - Simple Activities for Little Fingers

Simple Activities for Fine Motor and Little Fingers - Share It Saturday

It was very difficult deciding which links to include in this weeks 'Share It Saturday' post. Thank you to each and every one of you who contributed. It highlights what incredible talent you all have. Hopefully you will be featured very soon.
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With little people in mind, I decided to focus on activities that build fine motor skills in children. Here are a few I particularly love. Hopefully you will find some time to pop over and visit these blogs and find out more. 


Simple Activities for Fine Motor and Little Fingers - Share It Saturday

Econobusters - Ribbon Windsock
(Guest posted by Life with Moore Babies)
I adore the simple instructions that makes this an easy activity for little children. 

Simple Activities for Fine Motor and Little Fingers - Share It Saturday

One Perfect Day - Building Blocks & Foil
So much to love about this idea. Most households have all that's required and the wrapping and unwrapping would keep the children entertained for extended periods of time. 


Simple Activities for Fine Motor and Little Fingers - Share It Saturday

Laughing Kids Learn - Contact Paper & Wool
I love our activity because it became a piece of art that was used over an extended period of time and changed constantly. Adding and removing the woollen strands was great fun. 


Simple Activities for Fine Motor and Little Fingers - Share It Saturday

Powerful Mothering - Beads of Pipe Cleaners for Threading
Wonderful images outline this great idea. Such a fun activity for young children. 

Simple Activities for Fine Motor and Little Fingers - Share It Saturday

This link has many wonderful party ideas but I particularly like this mirror craft. Perfect for little fingers. 
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What a brilliant collection of activities for little fingers. 
Please be sure to collect a button if we featured you! 


We'd love you to link up more of your wonderful ideas below. 

Kate x

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In Cali - US ED SEC. Duncan Treads on States' Rights - Whew, it's smoggy out there!

By awarding a No Child Left Behind Act waiver to eight California districts, U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan has embarked on an experiment that redefines the federal role in school accountability—and that is sparking criticism from across the political spectrum and questions about whether the new flexibility goes too far.   www.edweek.org, http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2013/08/16/01corewaiver.h33.html?tkn=TQPF3qjhijjjcGavvTp016HgunOrRE9JxaoJ&cmp=ENL-EU-NEWS1
The State of Delaware, and the public schools contained therein, are already recipients of the No Child Left Behind Waiver.  It's the mechanism that gives our state freedom from the acheivement targets set under the Bush-era NCLB.  From a parental standpoint, the new waiver was most noticeable in two domains:
  1. In general, parents of children in DOE-defined failing schools:are no longer offered the ability to choice their student - with transportation provided at district cost - to a higher performing school; and
  2. The waiver allowed districts to cease offering the "free" tutoring provided at district cost by state-approved SES providers to students in the same identified failing schools.  Notably, at least 10 years of implementation failed to produce any data that supported the efficacy of these niche providers.
For schools/districts, the waivers really meant something else entirely - freedom from punishment for the failure to meet the federally mandated performance targets of the 2013-14 school year.

To be sure, these waivers came with strings - the kind the bind and garrote public education - including a state-made commitment to implement a teacher-evaluation system linked to student test scores. (For more on that cataclysmic abomindation, go read Kilroys.) 

And because some states refused the anti-educator-pro-federal infusion practice demanded by the waiver, Arne Duncan, created a new mechanism to insert his pro-capitalist stranglehold on those states who dared to defy his offer -  a district-direct waiver application process, a gift specific to these eight Cali districts. 
The first-of-its-kind waiver, good for one year, essentially allows the eight districts to set up their own accountability system outside of the state of California’s—and largely police themselves through their own board of directors. 
The districts, known as CORE, for California Office to Reform Education, will operate under a new school rating system that will eventually count nonacademic factors, such as absentee rates and parent surveys, as 40 percent of a school’s grade...
For the group of California districts, the most important flexibility the waiver brings is financial. A waiver will free up about $150 million in federal funds a year among the districts—money that’s now locked up in providing interventions such as tutoring and school choice in schools that do not meet annual academic targets...
As a result, districts are already canceling many of their contracts with tutoring providers, but electing to keep school-choice-based transportation—at least for now...
More strikingly, Duncan is finally getting some substantial push-back from his usually supporters for the creation of a program that essentially strips states of their rights and morphs his federal department into somthing not-quite-illegal, but borderline unconstitutional.
State schools chiefs collectively oppose the waiver as “usurping” state power. State and local teachers’ unions in California objected to being left out of the waiver process. Many members of Congress, particularly Republicans, are irritated that Mr. Duncan has used his waiver authority to hand out a special waiver just for eight districts in one state....
 Many education policy experts sharply disagree about this district waiver’s effect on the traditional relationship between local districts, their states, and the federal government. Public schools are primarily a state responsibility, and are financed mostly by state tax dollars.

What’s more, the NCLB law mainly governs the relationship between the federal government and the states. The law is the current version of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act.
“For the secretary to unilaterally dispense with 30-plus years of state-led accountability is incredible,” said Andy Smarick, a partner for Bellwether Education Partners in Washington.
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Thursday, August 15, 2013

Saint Nutter To Save Philly Schools, Guv. Corbett Vows to Hold District Students Hostage Until the Union Breaks

We've been following the Philadelphia School District budget crisis closely this week - as its gotten little play in the Delaware press.  The situation is remarkable for a number reasons - the superintendent's nuclear threat, a history of edu-nuclear meltdowns, the influence of Eli Broad the district's operation, the union busting governor who's witholding grant funding until the union capitulates and concedes collective bargain rights... And of course, the fall-out on students and parents in the impoverished urban district.

It appears that hope, in the form of Mayor Nutter, may finally be on the horizon:

Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter on Thursday said the city will seek to borrow $50 million to avoid a delayed start to the public-school year for 136,000 students. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324823804579014773649474290.html

"We will avoid this disaster," Mr. Nutter said at a news conference. He said he was directing city officials to "take all necessary steps" to borrow $50 million on behalf of the school district. "I believe this mechanism is the best way to immediately get these needed dollars to the school district with virtually no financial impact on our city," he said.
Mr. Nutter also said he would deliver proposed legislation Thursday to the city council to implement an extension of a city sales tax that is due to expire. He said the legislation would include language allowing half the revenue from the tax to go to the school district, if the state Legislature approved changes in the distribution of the revenue.

However, not all is well and good:
Separately, Gov. Tom Corbett is currently withholding a $45 million grant to the school district until it negotiates major concessions with the Philadelphia Federation of Teachers. The funding was contingent on the school district making financial, academic and operational changes.
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Harry Curriden Shows CSD Board some Tough Love

REBLOGGED, Red text is C&E 1st commentary.

Harry, I have no beef with you.  In fact, we have a lot in common - you're a Harry, I gave birth to a Harry.  You have a special child, so do I.  We're both CSD parents. Please don't take my reblog with comment personally.  I just wanted to share a different perspective. 

http://www.parentsofchristina.org/

 

 

Thursday, August 15, 2013


Christina Board of Education - The script never changes!

As someone who has attended meetings school board meetings in several states and served on two such boards I know the routine well. The meetings of the Christina Board of Education follows a long established tradition. The administration carefully choreographs every step to minimize any risk of being embarrassed.  Board meetings are indeed choreographed. I'm sure there is a desire to minimize the embarrassment factor, but the meetings follow a predictable format to ensure the structure that prevents the meetings from becoming a free-for-all. As far as that embarrassment may seem to be an issue, the CSD board has always been especially skilled at embarrassing itself. As a former board member, it's true, whether or not individuals chose to admit it - we open our mouths and insert our feet. 

There the usual awards recognitions for students and staff. Often this is the most fulfilling part of the entire meeting. By the end of my four years, this was truly most rewarding part of the evening. Next there is public comment. Here you, the public, can make statements that are met with contemptuous silence. The silence is entirely by design.  The board cannot respond to every single person, individually at the meeting, who chooses to speak. CSD already holds the state record for the longest board meetings in history. However, there is also logic behind this policy - board members frequently are hearing one side of a story for the first time when a parent speaks at pubic comment. Good, bad or indifferent to the story, diligence requires that we hear both sides and realize that the truth minus the emotion usually lies somewhere in between the two. Notably, the current superintendent has been empowered by the board to facilitate introductions between commenters and district staff during the meeting to help begin the process of addressing concerns. And of course, if you go back to the embarrassment quotient, CSD board members frequently violate their own rules and speak to the commenters. Oh, if you say something that makes the administration uncomfortable the sound recording of the meeting is mysteriously “lost” and even the minutes are written so as not to reflect the topic of your statement. As one of two board members who fought to get CSD meetings recorded, this statement saddens me.  During my time - from the commencement of recording to the end of my term on June 30th - CSD had only one meeting where we encountered audio problems that prevented recordings.  And the policy directs that the meeting occurs regardless of whether or not the recording equipment is operating - the meetings proceed b/c the work that needs to be done is usually tied to deadlines, many of which are imposed upon the district by outside agencies such as DOE, state law/regs/code, etc. 
Harry does earn a pass on audio quality - sometimes speakers just can't get their mouths near enough to the mics and that makes some files hard to hear.

Next there are the reports of various committees, some relevant while others are smoke and mirrors. Finally late in the meeting there are items that may require some discussion. The administrations hopes that by this time most of the public has left in case there is, God forbid, any discussion. I don't know what the admin thinks, but genuine board members and there are few on CSD's board want the public to stay for the discussion.  Trust me, it would make our lives a lot easier if they did!

As I said, I’m accustomed to the script used at schoo l board meetings. I don’t like it and when I had the opportunity I did all I could to change it. Of all the statements made at the meeting the most asinine is “YOU ARE OUR GUESTS”. This grand pronouncement by the board president at the beginning of every meeting is ignorant, insulting and......WRONG! To each his own. I see this statement as a reminder that the meetings have structure and need structure.  It also delineates the monthly board meeting as different than the public forums and workshops that the board holds where the public can participate freely, rather than observe as they do at the monthly meeting.

Public meetings of the Christina Board of Education, or any other public body in Delaware are public meetings. You and I have every right to be there and the school administration knows it. Of course as with any right it can be abridged for creating a disturbance, hindering the orderly conduct of the meeting etc. Yet, the statement “YOU ARE ARE GUESTS” is fundamentally a lie. The “YOU ARE OUR GUESTS” declaration is intended to intimidate, it has no other purpose. Disagree. But, again, to each his own. I don't take the statement personally, not as a parent/member of the public before I ran nor after as a district parent now.

To be sure there are quests at every meeting of the Christina Board of Education. These guests sit at a table with nice name plates in front of them, these guests are the members of the Board of Education. They sit there as a guest of the people who elected them and the children they are supposed to serve.. Every so often we need to be tell them “YOU ARE OUR GUESTS.” Disagree.  The folks with the goofy name plates (and you made me think that I should have kept mine - I totally forgot to ask for it when I retired) were elected to do a job.  They are on that stage trying to do that job. Yep, they serve at your pleasure. And if you don't like their performance, you can fire them every five years on a rotating election schedule. And there have been some that I would have loved to fire. 
Perhaps, Harry, it's time to throw your hat in the ring and put your boardsmanship experience to good use - win and reform the board. 

Harry

In retrospect, I realized that there are a few things that need to be added to my perspective: 

CSD will often suspend the rules of pubic comment when the community shows interest in an issue.  In the past, PC has been moved to the front of the agenda with awards ceremonies delayed to later meetings in order to allow for greater public participation.  Speakers are frequently recognized outside of public comment when they have indicated they possess information that they feel is important to a conversation (usually by raising their hand.) The board has waived the three minute limit countless times in order to hear out a constituent. In fact, CSD's public participation practices far exceed those that I have personally witnessed at a number of district and charter school board meetings. 


And that's my rant.


 

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How To Make a Rainbow Pop

It was a hot summer day. We were in Manhattan and my daughter wanted a rainbow pop. What is it with girls and rainbows?

After giving a taste, she declared that it tasted artificial. It created a laugh amongst the customers in line waiting for their artificial frozen treats. So, I decided to make my own. I used my trusted Cuisinart hand blender to puree the fruits. Added no sugar, no water. The juice from the fruits is enough to turn them frozen. It is kind of time consuming because after each layer you need to put the pops in the freezer for some time then add the next layer. Otherwise, it will turn into purple, cold mess. But it works. And the result was great. Oh, and it was approved by my food critic. 
I used strawberry, cantaloupe, pineapple, kiwi, cherry and blueberry. But after being pureed the blueberries kind of lost their original blue color and blended with the cherries. I have made many juice and fruit pops in the past. And I know from experience that freezing step by step is key in making layered treats. I used our popsicle molds but you can also use plastic cups and craft sticks. 
We love frozen treats in the summer. In fact, we prefer it to ice cream. 














Give it a try. Make it with kids. Enjoy! 


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