Contacted Leaves

Do you remember doing this when you were little?

This is a great activity that promotes discussion and develops observation skills. 

Select some leaves from your garden or the local park. 

Carefully place each leaf on the sticky surface of clear contact. 

Place another layer of clear contact over the leaves and trim the edges. 

Smooth out any bubbles or creases. 

Hang for display and discussion. 

Here are some of the questions you can ask your little one at the conclusion of making this activity. 

*What is the difference between this leaf and this leaf? 

* Which leaf is the largest/smallest?

*What colours can you see? 

*How many leaves have we displayed? 

Love to hear more of your ideas. This one is inspired by Crayon Freckles. 

Kate 

kate_lloyd@hotmail.com

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Happy Halloween

A touch of Halloween. 

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Pencader slips in Special Meeting with a 1 pm start time? Trying to Disenfranchise Parents, Tax Payers?

This is getting pretty tiring.  Having supposedly completed FOIA training, you'd think these questions wouldn't arise...

Language of their latest meeting posting is below.
Here are the issues -

1. Did Pencader provide seven days notice? http://pencadercharter.net/busfin/ The meeting would have to be posted by 1 pm on October 26, 2012.  Unlike every other item on the website, one cannot see the posting date/time of this event. Thus, one could argue that it wasn't and the deletion of the posting info is intentional...

2. Why is Pencader posting a meeting with a 1 pm start time?  How is this convenient or even accessible to the general public or the parents of students? Delineating the location as "board room" simply confirms that it isn't, as the board room is a pretty small room in the school. 

3. Does Pencader intend to discuss board members in private or public?  Since board members are appointed and and not employed, most would not define the tenure of a charter school board member as protected under Executive priviledge.  Now, I can see that this is an additional action item under the general agenda, but already, I have heard from fellow tax payers that they understood the agenda to mean that the new board members would be discussed in executive.  In the very least - the Agenda is confusing.

 PENCADER CHARTER HIGH SCHOOL

BOARD OF DIRECTORS SPECIAL MEETING

 

November 2, 2012

1:00 P. M.

 Board Room

 

1.    Call to Order

2.    Pledge of Allegiance

3.    Moment of Silence

4.    Motion to adjourn into Executive Session to discuss a Personnel Matter

5.    Motion to appoint Board Member/members

6.    Adjournment

 

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DELAWARE Get OFF the Roads!

Dear Readers, I apologize as you are about to be on the receiving end of a vent: Yesterday, I sat in one of Delaware's "non-urgent" Urgent Care Centers waiting to be diagnosed with bronchitis. Yah me! At 10:30 am, it was standing room only. The computer systems were failing. And the patients were all a-chatter about the "likely-to-be-nothing" Hurricane Sandy.

I bit my tongue as I was unable to tune out the stories of stir-crazy caused by Illene a year ago. Oh yeah, I just had to get out of the house and take a drive, said the darling in the tight pants as he texted to gal next to him.  Oh, I know, but the roads were fine.  There was no reason to order cars off the roads.  And then to his friend You spelled "tomorrow" wrong.  And then there was mom with her kindergartener - Theys knocking on my door this morning putting papers in our faces.  They tried to make us leave last time, too.  All we got was a little water in the basement.  I'm not leavin.'

So here is my message - MY husband is what is known as essential personnel.  By job and reaffirmed by law,  he is required to report to work and assist other employees in getting to work when a state of emergency is declared and vehicles are ordered off the road.  Every Delawarean who defies this order without a legitimate cause puts the lives of my husband and  the thousands of others' loved ones in tremendous danger when you add an unneeded vehicle to the mix.  You are not just risking your life, you're risking the lives of innocents who have accepted the serious responsibility of working in capacities that are essential to the lives of others. 

Just who are essential personnel? They are not simply state employees such as DelDot, Police, Fire, and Ambulance.  Healthcare employees at hospitals and nursing homes are necessary to care for and feed our sick and elderly.  Doctors are essential.  Those making fuel deliveries are essential to keep fleets going.  First responders are essential.  Utility workers are essential. 

Stir-crazy jerks are not essential. Stay off the roads.

Yesterday, I came home to hurricane prep.  Despite having a confirmed diagnosis of bronchitis, I spent hours outside securing our home and property.  Husband gave me a tutorial in the finer art of using a generator (remember, with my partner serving Delaware's neediest during the storm of century, I am sheltering in place with two kids, one identified with special needs.) We'd leave, but with four cats and a basement prone to flooding, someone has to make sure there's something to return to...

This is the plight of spouses, children, significant others, parents, etc of the essential worker.  We accept it because taking care of you is the right thing to do.  So, please do our essential workers and their families a favor - stay off the roads so that good people like my husband can come home to their families once this disaster has passed.

Please, just get off the roads!

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Military Mom Gives Birth 8 Hours Before Husband Returns Home From 7-Month Deployment

I LOVE this story!  I am not from a military family and I actually don't even know many military families, but I've had several do my class overseas.  I love my country and I so appreciate their service and sacrifice on our behalf.  This is the story shared by a Banned From Baby Showers reader - and a Birth Boot Camp Instructor trainee.  I had the privilege of meeting her in Tampa a few weeks ago and she shared a bit of her story with me then. I'm honored she would share it here.  Enjoy this story.  And grab your tissues.  

My Birth Story - Sean Heath

It was the early morning of July 26th. Brian was due home from a 7 month deployment the following afternoon at 4pm. I’d been talking to the baby for weeks, asking him to stay put until Brian made it home. I was now 5 days overdue and amazed I had made it so far and was now so close to Brian being able to be here for the birth. Originally he was scheduled home the beginning of July, but they got extended 3 weeks which coincided directly with my due date. I’d stressed over what to do when we got the news of the extension… whether to have my family come out, or hire a doula, etc. I ended up deciding I was stressing about it too much. I didn’t want one more person in the room in case Brian did make it home, and I just kept going forward with the thinking that he would. We had been planning a home birth since the very beginning, partially because I didn’t want to go to our local hospital and partially to ease my stress over what would happen if Brian didn’t make it home. I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about getting Mer anywhere or drive myself to the hospital. And with as fast as my labor with Meredith went I knew this time could be faster, leaving me less time to get somewhere to give birth. One of my leading thoughts when we found out our timing would be pushing it was that I wasn’t all that sad Brian would miss the birth itself, but since it would be such a different experience having a home birth, and I was sad he might miss that experience.

In my last few weeks of pregnancy I started stressing about having a support person again and got a referral from a friend for a doula, Monessa. She not only had a deployed spouse rate which was very affordable, but she agreed to be flexible with me… letting me hire her if Brian didn’t make it home and agreeing not to charge me for anything if he did make it in time.

So it was the early morning of July 26th… I was in bed unable to sleep, feeling like a 5 year old on Christmas Eve. I was so excited homecoming was the following afternoon and anxious about the last few hours between then and now. I knew there was still plenty of time for a baby to be born, even though we were SO close to Brian making it back. I was laying in bed reading “Pushed” when at 1:15am I felt a pop. I’d heard women describe this feeling and I immediately had two thoughts, “you’ve gotta be kidding me” was one, and the other was “please let me be one of those women whose water breaks and doesn’t start laboring right away.” I didn’t get an immediate gush of fluid, so I wasn’t totally sure that’s what the pop was. About 15 minutes later I got a small gush and when I went to the bathroom what came out was definitely not pee. It was cloudy and specked with mucus. I knew for sure then that my water had broken. I called Brian who was in Fallon, NV for the night and told him. His response was “oh no” since we both knew how close we’d gotten to having him here. I still hadn’t started contracting so was holding onto the sliver of hope that it would be a long labor (who ever hopes for that?? Haha). I broke down crying on the phone, so frustrated that we were just hours away from being together again. He was so great, reminding me that it was going to be fantastic, we were going to have a baby and that I would do a great job. After hanging up with him I got the bed stripped and ready, and made sure all my supplies were in order.

Almost exactly an hour later I got my first contraction, around 2:15am. The whole time I was thinking that it was the middle of the night and I really didn’t want to disturb anyone so I waited to call anyone for a while (even though my midwife, Cynthia, would laugh at me later saying she’s pretty sure my water breaking was one of the things she’d told me warranted a phone call). My contractions started with regularity, and were immediately 1 minute long, 5 minutes apart. So textbook, where my contractions with Meredith were definitely not (I found out later they were typical for a posterior baby). I tracked my contractions for about 45 minutes before I decided to call Cynthia. At 3am I called her and told her what was going on. She said to track them a little longer and give her a call back either when they got more intense or when I wanted her here. I waited a little longer. The contractions were still fairly light and I wasn’t sweating through them yet so I decided to wait to call Monessa (doula) and Nikki (who was on “Meredith Duty”). Around 4:30 the contractions picked up a little bit and that’s when I decided to call both Monessa and Nikki. After I called them I came downstairs to unlock the doors and put a lunch together for Meredith since I wasn’t sure if she’d go to preschool that day or not. Being upright made the contractions a little worse and closer together and stopped me in my tracks several times.

Got back upstairs and Monessa showed up a few minutes later. She started rubbing my back which felt really good and relaxing. I said I wasn’t sure if I should call Cynthia yet since my contractions were still bearable, but I also knew she was at least a 30 minute drive away. Monessa suggested I wait for a few more contractions before deciding for sure, so I waited. Maybe 20-30 minutes later they started picking up and I was feeling like I was sweating through them. This was the point with Meredith that we’d decided to go to the hospital, so I was thinking I was probably hitting around 3-4cm dilated. I decided to call Cynthia. This must have been around 5:30. We decided to change my position, and I sat on the ball at the end of the bed, leaning on the bed. This definitely picked the contractions up, and after a little while of this Monessa suggested the tub, which I’d just been thinking about. She ran the bath for me and I got in. It felt so good and relaxing. Cynthia showed up just a few minutes later and got set up while I relaxed in the tub. I spent probably an hour in the tub, during which time my contractions picked up from being able to breathe through to having to moan through. I asked Monessa to ask Nikki to call Kat, my photographer. I felt like things were progressing now and I wanted to be sure she was there. Thankfully she lives just down the street from me, so made it over very quickly. This was around 6:30 I think, and again I just kept thinking I didn’t want to disturb anyone too early. She made it over just before I got out of the tub.  Around 7 I got out of the tub and onto the bed. I was laying on my side and the contractions were getting intense. I started feeling a little pushy and was having a hard time staying relaxed through my contractions. Cynthia checked me at 7:15 when I mentioned needing to push and told me I was only 5cm. This was SO discouraging considering the intensity of the contractions I was feeling. I kept hoping it meant that I was just progressing very quickly and not that I had hours of this type of contractions ahead of me. I was feeling a LOT of back pressure at this point too and was asking Monessa to apply counter pressure on my lower back.

During one of my next contractions Cynthia checked me again and I was at 7cm. She said not to try to push, but if my body was pushing along with the contractions to keep doing what I was doing since it was obviously working, and quickly. Every time I’d feel pushy, amniotic fluid would come out and I remember Cynthia telling me that was a good sign that I was dilating and the fluid was able to get through. She asked if I wanted to change position, and so they got me up on my hands and knees. This picked the intensity up even more. They kept having to shove more pillows and stools under my arms to make sure my position wasn’t fighting gravity. I started feeling very out of control. I got whole body shakes and was screaming and crying through my contractions. With Meredith’s birth I never did anything other than very loud moaning, so this was a very different experience for me. No one ever told me when I made it to 10cm and could start pushing, it just started happening. I kept thinking that someone should call Brian but couldn’t articulate it. And then he called. I was between contractions and Monessa put the phone to my ear. He asked how I was doing and I responded “I’m okay” and I remember hearing everyone laugh in the background. Monessa continued to hold the phone so that Brian could “be there”. He says he had no idea what was going on and then all of a sudden there was the baby’s cry. I was feeling that really low pressure of pushing but was much more aware of the feeling of needing to poop than I ever was with Meredith. I think that inhibited my pushing a little bit, especially with my butt up in the air! I got the “ring of fire” feeling, which I also never had with Meredith and started feeling like I really might not be able to push him out. Screaming through it all did help focus my energy and I felt his head come out. With Meredith delivering her body afterward was easy, but that wasn’t so this time either. Another contraction and another BIG painful push and he was out. I felt an overwhelming wave of relief that he was out and it was done. At 8:03am he was born, only 45 minutes after I was told I was only 5cm dilated. It was a very quick and very intense labor.

Brian was still on the phone and the baby cried. It felt like ages until they got me flipped over onto my back and put the baby on my chest, but I’m sure it was only a few moments. I asked for my glasses and they fogged up immediately. They got me on my back and put him up to me and I got to see my son for the first time. My first thought was how he didn’t have nearly as much hair as I’d expected him to have. Based on how much heartburn I had through my pregnancy I was sure he would come out hairier than Meredith was, but he had just a little hair on his head. He was also very fair and I noticed a little later his eyes were light and looked like they may be blue.

I talked to Brian for a bit and Monessa snapped a few quick pictures on her cell phone to send to him. The timing of his phone call couldn’t have been better. He had to go get his jet ready to fly home that afternoon. I delivered the placenta and after the cord had stopped pulsing I cut the cord myself. Cynthia showed me the placenta and noted that there were several white calcification spots, showing it was aging.

They got me propped up in bed and once things were cleaned up Nikki brought Meredith up to meet her new baby brother. I had tried to prepare her for the noises I might make and what the birth would be like in case she wanted to be in the room when he was born. I’m glad she didn’t want to be though, with how intense it was. She got to meet him almost right away and hung out in bed with us as we nursed for the first time. She got a special present from baby brother which she got to open (it was a “Jessie” doll from Toy Story which she’d been wanting). We hung out in bed for a little bit, then they took him and got him weighed (he had already pooped on me, so I really think his actual birth weight was closer to 10lb). Cynthia handed him to Nikki to hold and I laughed at the “deer in the headlights” look she got on her face! I took a quick shower and Cynthia got me stitched up. I had a small tear, about the same as I had with Meredith.

I joked that now I had a few hours to rest before homecoming, and Cynthia very firmly told me I was forbidden and I think told Kat to make sure I didn’t go! After a while we sat on the bed while Cynthia checked Sean out, making sure all his joints were good and everything was healthy. Meredith sat up with us and Cynthia explained to her everything she was doing. It was all so relaxed and calm. They got wrapped up and I got a photo of everyone in bed with me before they left.

I mentioned to both Monessa and Cynthia later that as much as it wasn’t the timing I’d hoped for (not having Brian there) it was such a different and amazing experience having a baby in only the company of women. It reminded me of the book “The Red Tent” about biblical era birthing when women would retreat to a tent together and help their sisters and friends birth their babies. As much as I wanted Brian there I feel the timing couldn’t have been better. I had an amazing birth experience surrounded by amazing women, and Brian came home that afternoon to meet his just hours old son.

I, of course, dismissed Cynthia’s forbidding me and went to homecoming anyway. I almost didn’t go. I was in baby bliss land and was happy to let Krista take Meredith and for us to have our homecoming when Brian made it back to the house. But we were able to get a pass to get the car out to the flight line so I wouldn’t have to walk far, and I really wanted to see Meredith’s reunion with Brian. The news wanted to interview us, but I didn’t want Cynthia to see the story and get mad that I’d gone to homecoming against her express instructions! I waddled myself out to the flight line and welcomed my husband home with his brand new baby. He said he couldn’t believe I went, but I kept saying I was going to get my homecoming, and I got my homecoming!!

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Picture It

I thought that I would share this really great idea with all those mums who can't finish a coffee in a cafe without it getting cold. I completely understand what it's like. Children need constant entertainment, well it seems to be the case, and often parents will be willing to hand over their iPhone that is jam packed full of the latest kiddy apps.

Now it doesn't look much but it's amazing what children can do with so little. Simply, it's a soap box container with some crayons and a Post-It notepad attached. How easy is that?

Thank you to Simply Frugal Mom for the idea. If you would like to see more then visit this site. http://www.simplyfrugalmom.com/2011/12/15/on-the-go-crayon-box/ 

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Sandy Songified

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MCN obsession - officially over

With lots of little kids for the past 6 almost 7 years I've had a continuous stream of nappies the entire time.

At one point I was dreaming nappies.

Yeah... I know...

I bought a sewing machine, an overlocker and a snap press machine to make my own modern cloth nappies with dream intentions of making them to sell. It never happened. The selling of them anyway..

I was in love with making my own, it was seriously THAT easy. I couldn't get over the part where I made a half dozen nappies for 30cents each.

Over time the obsession part came to an end, a bought disposables and used both cloth and disposables.

Disposable are MUCH easier to work with. Especially when you look at extra washing and storage for your cloth love. Oh and stuffing the pockets, clipping in the boosters and pairing fitteds with covers.

Good intentions sometimes fail.

I eventually hated pockets with a passion. As each pocket lost elastic I threw it out, not even going to try fix it.

Many nappies went by unused. Sitting in my way, taking up space.

Now I would only use an all-in-one. No pockets, no fitted with cover.


As for cloth saving money...
Over the years...
I've seen people buy and sell and buy and sell and buy and sell a continuos supply of modern cloth nappies...
Meaning so much money gets suckled up in postage costs and not exactly what you want...
The obsession part taking over the lives of cloth loving mums who give up all sorts to purchase their 123rd nappy for one bum... You know it happens!!

So I'm barely interested in the cloth obsession.. Selling off and throwing and giving a stash big enough for 3 babies full time in nappies.. And selling the overlocker, snap press and possibly the sewing machine...

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Christina Closes School Monday and Tuesday!

From: LAPHAM WENDY
Sent: Saturday, October 27, 2012 4:31:03 PM (UTC-05:00) Eastern Time (US &
Canada)
To: CSD All Users
Subject: NOTICE: Schools and Offices Closed on Monday, 10/29 and Tuesday 10/30


ALL schools and offices in the Christina School District are CLOSED on Monday,
October 29 and Tuesday, October 30.

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The end of me

I wrote this a week ago, but didn't publish it. I didn't want a heap of people on my doorstep trying to tell me what to do and how to do it, berating me for my choice in conception time after time after time, demanding Its time to send my kid to school which would be in direct rebellion to what God has told me to do and yes it has happened!!, or telling me things I already knew. So I chuck it in now, as a reminder, as a truthful representation of who I am and what life can get like with lots of little kids. What? That's not blogger protocol of the perfected self and life? Atleast in portrayal? Pfft.. I don't do what most others do in real life.. So here it goes.. The confession..
...

Just recently I've noticed myself being worn thin, not from doing too much but for being too much.

Come lunch time daily I'm exhausted until after dinner.

The children have been kids and made messes and explored, which hasn't helped my plight in resting.

We threw into our weekly schedule a weekly visit to our local Christian bookshop to hire out some DVDs to keep kids busy while I chilled, or dreamed to.

But then it went further than that.

I'm at the end of my physical and emotional ability.

I'm EXHAUSTED!!

I've cried, and sooked, and laid in bed for hours trying to rest. I've gotten angry and lost my short-temper at the children AND my husband.

My ability to cope mentally with crap that's happened in the past has disappeared. And so have come the outbursts.

Literally, I have nothing left. Nothing. I'm at the end of me.

And that's where the begining of Him begins. Because I can not do what needs to be done I've had no choice but to call upon my Saviour Jesus Christ and ask for His Strength. And that's all I manage to muster. My deepest prayer. Lord it's your turn, I've got nothing left.

As I woke this morning (a week ago), I managed to get 20-30 loads of washing through my two machines ready for my mother-in-law to hang up tomorrow. Not kidding. Isn't she lovely!!

I managed to clean up most the kitchen..

I managed to clean up the master bedroom, the obvious dumping ground for everyone's crap. 4 garbage bags full of rubbish. A feat just in itself.

I managed to get a heap of washing put away. And some lounge tidied..

And a little bit done in the girls room.

For me, lately, that's so much. Come lunch time? *crash*

And now I sit, typing, listening to kids playing with each other, awaiting my hubby to return home so we can eat as a family and get kids to bed.

In my end-of-me current state I could write a list of reasons to NOT have 4 kids in 5yrs, or even lots of little kids. Yeah, told you I was feeling it.

5 things I am thankful for:
1) Jesus, for being my strength
2) funny things kids say that makes me giggle
3) knowing this is a SEASON
4) hubby picking up a bit more than he usually does, I've needed it
5) worship music, that helps me retain a bit of focus, if only for a few moments,

Disclaimer: it's not because of the children that life has been hard.. ;)

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Parenting a child with special needs - "Welcome to Holland"

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Peek-A-Boo!

Little games of peek-a-boo are wonderful for babies. It engages them and entertains them while teaching them much about the world around them. It's hard to imagine but this is what learning they gain from the experience.

Learning achieved -
* When you disappear you will reappear
* Repartition
* Patterning, which helps with understanding of predictability
* Interpreting facial expressions and making connections to the meaning behind these.
Peek-a-boo!!! :)

Here is Possum with her aunty. 

"Where has your aunty gone?".......

Peek-a-Boo!!! 

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Disgusting Halloween Treat

Now this is a treat that adults are sure to think is disgusting but kids will LOVE! 

It is easy to make and will have everyone in this Halloween spirit. 

Purchase some eyeball candies from Big W ($2), some red jelly and small plastic cups. 

You might like to have just one big container instead. 

Place an 'eyeball' at the bottom of each plastic cup. 

Spoon the jelly liquid over each eyeball candy. 

Place in the fridge until it's set. 

You can see some of the candies rose to the surface but it doesn't really matter. 

Serve these up as a tasty(?!?) Halloween treat. 

You may like to set the jelly in a large container and smash it up to look like this ghastly mess. 

Enjoy (if you can)

kate_lloyd@hotmail.com

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Expelled? Delaware takes your driver's license, too!

§ 4130. Expulsion of students; re-enrollment; loss of driver's license.

(a) In any case where a public school student is expelled from a school district or a charter school, the expelled student shall not be permitted to reenroll in any other school district or charter school in this State until after the full period of expulsion from the school district or charter school where the student was expelled shall have expired.

(b) Prior to enrolling any student who attempts to transfer to a school district or charter school in this State, the superintendent of that school district, or the superintendent's designee, the head of a charter school or such head's designee shall first contact the last school district or charter school where the student was last enrolled, if in this State, to determine if that student is under a current expulsion order in that district or charter school. If it is determined that the student is under a current expulsion order, that student shall not be permitted to enroll until the expulsion order has expired as set forth in subsection (a) of this section.

(c) Any student who has been expelled from a public school in this State or in any other state shall, prior to enrollment in any public school in this State, completely fulfill the terms of that expulsion.

(d) The provisions of subsections (a), (b) and (c) of this section shall not apply to any case in which a student is seeking to enroll in the James H. Grove High School or in any alternative educational or other related program developed to provide educational services to children who have discipline problems.

(e)(1) In any case where a person is expelled from a public school, the superintendent of schools for the school district in which such school is located shall send written notice of such expulsion to the Division of Motor Vehicles. Such notice shall be sufficient authority for the Division to suspend, or refuse to renew, any driver's license already issued to such person; or to refuse to issue a license to anyone reported by a superintendent to have been expelled from school. Such expelled person shall remain ineligible for the issuance of a new license, or for the renewal or reinstatement of a present or former license until the Division receives such proof as it may require that such person is again eligible for a driver's license.

(2) An expelled person whose license has been suspended may have such license reinstated, or a new license issued, if any of the following requirements are met: a. The length of the expulsion is complete; b. Such person is 19 years of age or older; or c. Two years have elapsed since the date of expulsion.

(3) To have a driver's license reinstated, or to obtain a new license, an expelled student must meet one of the requirements set forth in paragraph (2) of this subsection; must apply in person to the Division of Motor Vehicles; and must provide the Division with verification from the school, or such proof as the Division may require.

(4) Where a person does not have a driver's license because the Division has suspended or refused to renew a license to such person in accordance with this section, such person may apply to the Division for a conditional license. The Division shall not issue any conditional license under this section unless such person's application: a. Is made upon a form prescribed by the Division, and sworn to by the applicant; b. Contains a statement setting forth those hardships which would occur if a conditional license were not granted; and c. Contains a sworn statement that the applicant shall comply with all conditions placed upon such conditional license. 69 Del. Laws, c. 214, § 1; 70 Del. Laws, c. 186, § 1; 71 Del. Laws, c. 236, §§ 1-5; 71 Del. Laws, c. 272, §§ 1, 2; 73 Del. Laws, c. 164, §§ 3, 5.;

http://delcode.delaware.gov/title14/c041/index.shtml#4130

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The Role of Communication

Communication is vital but how effectively we speak to our children? How effectively we deliver the messages we want them to hear? Do we speak with the same respect to our kids as we do with another adult? With a few positive tips you can change the entire dynamic between your children and yourself and improve your communication significantly. 

The first thing I would emphasize is speaking with respect. If we treat them with respect they are more likely to treat themselves, us and of course others with respect. We often ignore our kids, we interrupt them and we dismiss of their feelings, we speak about kids in front of them as if they were not present. We belittle them and call names and label them automatically and unintentionally. it takes an effort to change ourselves. 

When communicating with kids remember what we say, and how we say matters a lot. Choosing the right words, and using the right tone can make a huge difference. The same message can be delivered in multiple ways. But what matters the most is what message does our child take from the communicated message. Because it’s so easy to misunderstand and being misunderstood. Using simple language is crucial. Children are very literal. 

It’s not what we say to our kids matters it’s what we do. Because they want to imitate us. We are their primary role models. 

One common mistake we all make is when communicating a message to our kids we refer to ourselves in a third person. That creates a distance between us and our kids. It is very important to use “I” sentences. So instead of saying “Mommy has to go...” Say “I need to go.”

Another similar mistake we make is when addressing the child by saying things like “Your room is so messy...” we can speak for ourselves and state how the the messy room makes us feel. “I don’t like stepping on the legos on the floor...messy rooms make me...” Avoid offending the child by saying, “You are such a messy/clumsy/noisy child...” Stop labeling your or others' children as “good” or “bad”. At my daughter's dance class while we were watching the kids dance through the glass window one of the parents asked another lady which one was her daughter. I was shocked at the response of the parent. She simply said “The bad one”. Then she went ahead complaining about the kid that she was not paying enough attention and was not following the teachers instructions carefully. So, I guess that makes her “bad”. 

Once a 7 year old girl told me that if she was “good” for seven times in a row she earned 7 stickers her parents promised her some toy. Then she smiled and said that she already collected 3. It was so painful for me to hear that. Poor kid does not yet recognize that she is a victim of manipulation. 

Recently, I have heard something outrageous. One family bribes their 6 year old child to eat yogurt by giving one dollar. If the child refuses the yogurt he gives one dollar back from his “bank”. It is a shame how many parents resort to such manipulative tools to get their children to do what they want them to do. There is total disregard for a child as a person. We have serious thinking to do if we don’t have real influence over our children. How is that child going to treat others? He already has a corrupt soul. 

We often hear “be a good listener”, “be a good boy/girl”...as if sometimes they can be bad as well. And when the kids act badly we try to stop them. But we forget that we planted that kind of behavior by suggesting them that there are two ways the “good” and the “bad” way (whatever that means). Can somebody explain what it means to be good? 

We fill our children's days with don’ts, nos and be carefuls. If you had to write down every time you said don’t, no and be careful...Hearing it all the time makes kids more resentful. These statements are also very general and from s child’s stand point they mean nothing. Instead of saying be careful, we can simply remind the safety rules. Or how about learning to trust our kids? 

Don’t end the request with an OK? It’s like we are anxious for them to say yes but when we end the request with an OK, we throw in an invitation for saying no. 

Children don’t have a perception of time so when you are at the playground and it’s time to leave, don’t declare “Five more minutes!” Instead, use a simpler language, more understandable for a kid “After you go down the slide 6 more times we are leaving.”

Use requests instead of commands. The way we speak to our children is totally different from the way we speak to adults. But doesn’t a request sound better than nagging/demanding and is more likely to elicit cooperation? Even when we request good manners we don’t always use our best manners. I can’t tell you how many times I heard a parent demand with a particular intonation ”Say, thank you!” or I will...or you will be ...that’s what I hear. It’s like advocating against cigarettes while smoking. 

Don't forget the power of let’s. Instead of commanding the child to clean her room, make it a collaborative effort and suggest “Let’s make your room neat and tidy. I will land you a hand.” 

Be positive even when you are going to deliver a negative response. Instead of saying “No, you can’t have ice cream now.” State when she can have it. And remember to be less rigid at times. Sometimes breaking the “rules” can be fun. A little cookie before dinner is not a crime! 

State clearly what you need from them. Instead of saying “You need to put your clothes on...” You can say “I need you to get dressed ...”

Why is it that we feel that we have to comment on every single behavior act our children commit? Give up that referee/commentator role. Refrain from evaluative, judgmental statements. It’s harmful. Children are nor born to please their parents or do things to “earn” a parental approval. We have to take care of their needs and nourish them. Remember the way we treat them today the way they are going to treat others and the world tomorrow. 

And finally, remember that shame, criticism, blame, teasing, ignorance, threats hurt children deeply. We forget a physical pain but we never forget psychological/emotional pain. 

If you liked this article and would like to learn more why don’t you sign up for the Parent Support Seminar? One of the key topics of the PSS is communication. You will learn positive tools to enhance your communication not only with your children but also with you spouse/partner or even friends. 

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DIY Play Dough (no cook)

PLAY DOUGH

VIDEO

Please be kind. This is my first ever video post with myself included. Hope you like it. 

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If this job matters so much, why doesn't anybody care?!

A few years ago, I was doing an interview with a local magazine and at the end of the interview, she said to me, "Wow, your job really matters."  I patted myself on the back.

A few weeks ago, David and I were flying to NYC and got to talking with with a guy on the plane.  He worked for AT&T and we had a great conversation with him about a variety of topics.  After a while he asked what we both do for a living.  I gave him my card and he said, "Oh wow, you have a job that actually matters!"  

So, if people think that it "matters," then why don't people treat birth like it matters?  This is something I think about a lot.  A couple of years ago we were doing a production of "Birth" by Karen Brody.  Many of you remember it as our BOLD Fort Worth event.  We got a spot on Good Morning Texas, not because of what we were doing to bring awareness about birth and birth options, but because it was Infant Mortality Awareness month and Dallas and Tarrant County rates are some of the highest in the nation (7.1/1000 births).   But no one wanted to talk about the possible correlation birth had to these dying babies.  

Why are we so comfortable with the way things are?  Why are we OK with non-medically-indicated inductions?  Why are we OK with more than 1/3 babies being born via cesarean section?  Why are we OK with moms and babies being separated at birth?  Why is formula still pushed on moms in the hospitals and pediatricians offices?

If my job MATTERS, why do these problems still exist?!  If it MATTERS, why do we not support moms in breastfeeding wherever and whenever she needs to nurse her baby?  If my job MATTERS, why do moms have to fight to get access to care providers trained in normal birth?  

Do people really believe that BIRTH MATTERS?  If this is true, they should act like it.  We care about how our parents leave this earth - hopefully treated with respect and dignity.  I believe that babies deserve this same respect.  They deserve a peaceful entrance and welcome without separation from their parents.  

Birth matters for the baby.  Birth also matters for the mom.  I'm not sure that many women believe that.  Perhaps that is the bottom line.  Do women think birth matters?  I'll be the first to admit that with my first baby, I didn't think it mattered at all.  I was only focused on the end result - a healthy baby.  I didn't realize that birth impacted me or my baby.  After 3 unmedicated births, I know.  I know that birth matters.  I found my voice. My confidence.  My power. 

 

BNN Board of Directors

I'm just coming off a weekend with the Board of Directors for BirthNetwork National for our annual Strategic Planning meeting.  Wow!  Let me assure you, there are people working hard across the county to make change happen, to make women aware of their options.  To create options where options do not currently exist.  There is a lot going on.  But more people are needed to make these things a reality.  Check to see if your area has a chapter and how you can get involved.  If there is not a chapter, start one.  Seriously.  There is support and we are coming out with better, clearer training to support Chapter Leaders in leading their community in the promotion of Mother-Friendly maternity care.

 

What is the "birth climate" in your area?  Does birth MATTER where you live? 

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Pencader Constituents - Don't miss you opportunity to learn the status of the school!

"Parent Information Meeting"

posted by corey.corbin on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 10:33

You are invited to a Parent Information Meeting, Monday, October 22nd at 6:00pm in the school Cafeteria. Information regarding this school year so far, the Formal Review process and our upcoming plans for the remainder of 2012-2013 school year. Refreshments will be served.

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DCPA - What's up with "Temporary Employment"

DCPA has been floating about the blogosphere for a couple months now.  With the 2013 Q1 checkbook posted, I thought it would be a good time look at expenditures...

Business Managers - please jump in and solve this quandery for me:

DCPA has 48 expenditures coded as TEMPORARY EMPLOYMENT SERVICE for Q1.  I understand that much.

However, DCPA is coding payments to several of the school employees as Temporary Employment Service, such as the Dean of Specialized Services (hired Sept. 2011), the Business Manager (who previously served as Interim Executive Director), and the current Executive Coordinator.  Clearly, these are not temporary positions, so what gives?

File this under: Things that make you go hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm...

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Is Pencader preparing to be engaged in litigation with the Attorney General?

Read the rumor earlier today on Kilroys - http://kilroysdelaware.wordpress.com/2012/10/19/is-beau-biden-poised-to-take-criminal-action-re-pencader/ - which I pretty much discounted as just a rumor, again, (Sorry Special K.)  This rumor is practically a legend in its own time - wafting in the wind for months with no substantiation...yet.

And then I wandered up  Mt. Othrys and into P-town and found this gem below (note the highlighted text.)  Maybe Kilroy's river rat is on to something afterall... Then again...
http://pencadercharter.net/busfin/sites/default/files/page/204/documents/Board%20Meeting%20Agenda_10_25_2012.pdf

PENCADER CHARTER HIGH SCHOOL BOARD OF DIRECTORS MONTHLY MEETING Thursday, October 25, 2012 5:30 P.M.
General Session Cafeteria
1. Call to Order
2. Review, correct, approve minutes from September 27, 2012
3. Financial Report
4. School Administration Report
5. Update on Formal Review Process
6. By-Laws
7. Floor Open for Public Comments
a. Time Limit of 3 minutes per person
b. Allotted time may not be reassigned to a prior or subsequent speaker
8. Executive Session
a. Review personnel
b. Legal strategy session for pending and potential litigation related to Special Ed & Attorney General’s request
9. Meeting Adjournment

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Blanket Hammock

This is an activity that Possum has enjoyed since the first few weeks of life. Simply place your little one of their back and with the assistance of another adult, grab the corners of a blanket and gently raise the baby off the ground.

If your baby seems to enjoy the experience then you like to very slowly rock them from side-to-side and raise and lower them slightly from the ground. Please be sure to monitor your baby closely during this activity.

This is a great activity to developing sensory awareness.
Enjoy!

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Delaware! A Spectator State...

TELL YOUR LEGISLATORS TO SUPPORT A NATIONAL POPULAR VOTE FOR PRESIDENT

Delaware is ignored in presidential races by both parties because candidates have no reason to pay attention to the concerns of voters in states where they are comfortably ahead or hopelessly behind. The 2012 campaign is currently being conducted in a 9 "swing" states — making Delaware and most other states into mere "spectators" to the presidential election.
Tell your State Legislators to support the National Popular Vote Bill. The bill would guarantee the Presidency to the candidate who receives the most popular votes in all fifty states and the District of Columbia. This would make every vote equal throughout the United States. That, in turn, would ensure that every Delaware voter would matter in every presidential election.

http://www.nationalpopularvote.com/de/  Learn what needs to be done to make Delaware's presidential votes count!

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Sometimes we eat our own words - Pencader spends $55,000 on Legal Fees in just 2 Months

SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/1/2012 $236.00
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/1/2012 $22.50
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/1/2012 $490.00
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/14/2012 $5,348.50
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/14/2012 $855.50
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/14/2012 $3,093.00
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/14/2012 $519.50
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/14/2012 $11,849.00
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/14/2012 $1,003.75
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/14/2012 $593.50
SAUL EWING LLP LEGAL SERVICES 8/14/2012 $4,495.40

YOUNG CONAWAY STARGATT & TAYLOR LLP	LEGAL SERVICES	8/28/2012	$11,725.20
YOUNG CONAWAY STARGATT & TAYLOR LLP	LEGAL SERVICES	8/28/2012	$281.60
YOUNG CONAWAY STARGATT & TAYLOR LLP	LEGAL SERVICES	9/28/2012	$14,221.70
YOUNG CONAWAY STARGATT & TAYLOR LLP	LEGAL SERVICES	9/28/2012	$805.00
YOUNG CONAWAY STARGATT & TAYLOR LLP	LEGAL SERVICES	9/28/2012	$35.00

Grand Total - a hair over $55,000 in two months. I don't know what Pencader budgeted for in the way of legal fees; however, I am concerned that $55,000 is excessive for a small school and as such what impact will this have on the classrooms?

Just food for thought...

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A More Entertaining Debate? Town Hall Songified!

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Halloween Mummies

Here is fun and yummy Halloween treat for the special people in your lives. They are quite simple to make and look very impressive.

_______

Begin by breaking apart Oreo biscuits and eating one or two.

Place a store bought candy stick into the icing and use some melted

chocolate as glue to attach the other side. 

They should look like this (above).

  

Melt some white chocolate in the double boiler. 

Cover the whole biscuit in the white chocolate. 

Add two chocolate drops for eyes and place in the fridge for 30 minutes. 

Melt some more white chocolate and drizzle over each biscuit. 

These are to look like the bandages on each mummy. 

These are delicious. 

Of course I had to have one to show you the inside. 

;) 

kate_lloyd@hotmail.com

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No end..

In our household there is no end to the dramas, adventures and comedies.

Starting off with a panic-striken swimming-lesson-coveting child freeking out cos the daddy took the mummy's car and "how are we going to get to swimming lessons?" 'Walk'.

One moment it's a friendly sibling cuddle, the next it's an older sibling seeking control over the younger sibling and the next results in the younger sibling attempting to take a bite of the older sibling.

Or... A baby posting Lego through the hole of her sleeping bag. It's all fun right? Natural posting game. Until its time to walk and we all know walking on Lego hurts. But that trust she puts into me to know what hurts and fix it - yeah I was watching.

Or asking a 3 & 4 year old to take baby chicks outside to the rabbit cage (they sleep inside) results in the daddy getting upset at 3yr olds chick-shake.

An older child is still upset about having to pick up Lego that was strewn around his room the day before while mummy was attempting a much needed rest. Wanting help cos he's not doing it. Mummy contemplating running the vacuum over the entire room and 'taking care' of the *lego problem* for good.

Mummy plans the un-gratifying jobs of cleaning the bath and toilet and tackling a messy kitchen - all before lunch time exhaustion hits and I'm struck out for the rest of the day.

Instead adventures outdoors cling to memory and I desire to take off on a bush walk through the still and quiet, just the chatter and noises of my offspring to listen to, the chirp of a bird or two and perhaps way off into the distance the soft moan of a cow or baa of a sheep..

Sigh..

Back to reality.. I have work to do..
Before lunch time..

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Easy Feeding Tips...From My Table to Yours

Our family is in a huge transition right now.  11 weeks ago we moved in temporarily with my mother after selling our house before we could move into our new one.  I knew there would probably be set backs in all areas of my 2 year old's life.  Our routines are different and the dynamic with extra adults around has changed mealtimes in particular.  I have always considered my nearly 3 year old's eating to be pretty good.  However, since we have been in this state of limbo and I have been managing more difficult behaviors in other areas (aka pooping in his underwear), I have let his eating slowly decline.  It's not like I didn't see it happening slowly, but I kept telling myself, "It will be better when we move into our new house.  We will get back to our routine."  I was hoping we would be moving in 2 weeks.  Now it is pretty certain that it will be another 4-6 weeks.  I decided, finally, that his eating needed addressed now, it couldn't wait any longer.  I wanted to share with you some of the strategies that helped me rope his eating back in-- quickly! 

Some of these strategies I have discussed before and some are quick tips to get you thinking.  More than anything, I want you to get a feel for how I problem solve through feeding challenges at my table, in the hopes that you can apply some of the same strategies at your table.


Get a Game Plan

The first step in getting Sam's eating back on track was to come up with a game plan and get my husband on the same page.  Obviously, he totally follows my lead in this department, but it's really important that I communicate with him exactly how we are going to proceed.  Since my mom is a big part of mealtimes, I had a talk with her too.

I had to think-- what had really changed?  I was still giving a preferred food at meals, spacing meals 3 hours apart, and serving a variety of foods (see Basic Strategies for more on this).  Yet, he was getting so particular about what he was eating and playing with his food more than he was eating it.  Once I reflected on his eating, I was able to focus on a few strategies in particular, I have outlined them for you below.  

Cooking Together and Being Engaged Through the Whole Process

The biggest strategy I had forgotten lately is Cooking with Your Kid- Umm, Hello!  If you follow this blog you know that I talk about this all the time and have written many posts on cooking with Sam.  It has gotten him interested in many new foods!  So, first step in my game plan: Get Sam cooking again. Last night we made tacos and after cooking together, he ate tomatoes and turkey meat willingly, which are foods he has been refusing lately! 

Positive Parenting

Since I am fairly sure that the stress of this tranisition and temporary housing is having an affect on Sam, I needed to address why he may be acting out at meals.  Was the meal really the problem? Was he getting enough attention?  

A few nights ago I watched a webinar on Positive Parenting Solutions hosted by Creative with Kids (by the way, there is a ton of wonderful posts on positive parenting over there). It was a wonderful reminder for me that I need to really make sure that Sam is getting specific attention on a daily basis.  I have been going out of my way to make sure that I am engaged with him, trying to put my agenda aside and really be present throughout the day.  It is hard, but I am cutting way back on multi-tasking.  By the way, the cooking time that we shared accomplished this plus it gave him a sense of purpose in our family.  It is important for kids to feel like they are contributing to the family.  

"I'm all done."

Sam has announced at a few meals recently, "I'm all done."  It caught me off guard initially. I'm not going to get into a power struggle here, so I let him be all done, even if it was only a few minutes after the meal begun.  BUT, I told him that there was no food until the next meal.  Each time I make sure that he has heard me and make him repeat it back to me.  I fully intended to follow through.  The few times he tried this, he came back within less than 5 minutes and asked to finish his meal.  You know what? He did!  I wouldn't have let him do this if a longer amount of time had passed.  I know that his little brain needed a minute or two to process what had happened.  

Salvaging a Meal that is on the Rocks

Mealtime with kids can get out of hand in a hurry.  Before you throw in the towel, can you make small, reasonable changes to the meal? I use this strategy a lot with both of my kids.  I am not talking about getting something different to eat or jumping through hoops.  There are times that legitimately the food needs to be changed a little.  Kids won't force down cold food, or foods that isn't seasoned well the way most of us will.  If it doesn't taste great, then they probably won't eat it.  Also, sometimes kids just need to shift focus, it may have nothing to do with the food... you just have to get them interested.  I had to use several of these today at lunch and in the end it was a decent meal. Here is a list of the some the tricks I use:

• Heating up food.  A couple of quick seconds in the microwave can make the food a lot more palatable.

• Cut it up or give a big piece.  I change up whatever way I originally presented it.  Today I gave him a meatball cut in half, thinking he would like to take bites off or cut it himself.  After seeing he wasn't eating them. I asked, "Would you like me to cut them into small pieces?" I did, and he ate 4-5 pieces. I was content with that. 

• Sprinkle a little Parmesan cheese, garlic salt, or parsley on the food.  I only use a miniscule amount, but Sam thinks it is special and will often dig in.

• Give a different utensil.  I might say, "Oh, would you like your digger fork, instead, to eat those meatballs?"  This works more often than you would think.

• Add a sauce, dip, or liquid.  Sometimes I mix more milk in the homemade mac and cheese or add some chicken broth to the rice.  I let my kids see me do this and then re-present.  Often, they see that has changed and you have engaged them a little so they may be more willing to give it a try.  Also, think of offering dips or more sauce.

At the top of this post I shared that our family was in transition, and in this instance I think that is part of the reason for the decline in Sam's eating.  BUT, it is very typical for kid's eating to go up and down over days, weeks, and months.  They go in and out of phases.  The important thing is that WE stay consistent.  The times when their eating goes down hill a little, use some of these strategies to get things back on track!

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