How to Have a Natural Birth

Recently, I had a conversation with someone about wanting a natural birth and how hard it is to get that without a fight on your hands.  She asked the question, "Why can't you just say 'I don't want the drugs.'?"  It was an interesting question, really.  Why is it so difficult in American obstetrics to have a natural birth?

I think there are many factors here.  Fear is at the top of the list.  Fear of pain, fear of lawsuits, fear of the time commitment.  I think loss of control is also a factor.  We like to control everything.

And as much as we glorify the "superhero," we hate her when it comes to birth.  We want her to fail.  Her natural birth makes me feel bad about my medicated birth.  It's easier to believe that no one can do it than it is to believe I couldn't do it. 

The media is at fault here too, but it's largely because they feed the fear.  I have a mom right now doing Birth Boot Camp online classes that was thinking about transferring to a natural-birth-friendly hospital but it's an hour away.  We get this idea from all the sitcoms that the minute labor begins - or water breaks - the baby is going to fall out.  Women and men are fearful of a birth place that is more than a few minutes away. In reality, they could probably cross state lines with plenty of time to kill!

And then there's the noise factor that I've been talking about for years - the majority of the people at the hospital want you to have the drugs because of the noises you might be making, be it moaning, grunting, or even screaming.  Those noises make people uncomfortable when they are not used to hearing them. Personally, I like to hear the noises a woman is making in labor because you can tell how well she is handling things. Those noises let her support team know what she needs. Who needs a vaginal exam?!  Just listen to her!

In addition to making the laboring woman be quiet, the control is now shifted to the medical staff.  They do not have to wait for your labor to progress.  Like magic, they can force your uterus to contract whenever they want it to with pitocin.  What power!  The laboring woman is powerless at this point.

Frankly, people just don't understand why someone would want an unmedicated birth.  I was that way with my first baby.  I couldn't believe it when people would ask me if I was having the drugs.  Of course I'm having the drugs!  I get it.  I've heard a million different reasons for wanting a drug-free birth over the years, but in the end, a couple has to be willing to do what it takes.

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING A NATURAL BIRTH

1.  Believe that your body and baby will work together.

2.  Choose a care provider very carefully.  They may make or break this experience.  If you have chosen wisely and you do have a cesarean or are encouraged to induce, you will not second guess them EVER.

3.  Take a thorough childbirth class.  As the founder of Birth Boot Camp®, I believe our 10-week curriculum is the best program out there, preparing both partners for an empowering birth experience. If there is not an instructor in your area, take the online course. After you have an amazing birth, become an instructor!

4.  Communicate with your partner.  This is an opportunity to grow closer together.  It's not every day you bring a baby into this world.

5.  Hire a doula.  She will help you achieve a drug-free birth.

6.  Know your options.  If your chosen birth place is not natural-birth-friendly, RUN.  If you take the attitude of  "I'll stay with my OB this time and switch to a midwife next time," they may set you on a path of cesareans that will make it harder next time around.

7.  Practice relaxation on a regular basis.  Eat well.  Stay fit.  If you become high-risk because you eat junk food and have a sedentary lifestyle, your plans for an intervention-free birth may go out the window.

8.  Surround yourself with people that believe in YOU!

9.  Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions and read between the lines with your care provider.  If you feel like you are jumping over red flags, you probably are.  As long as the baby is still inside of you, you have options.  Regardless of what you may have heard, it's never too late to switch care providers.

10. Read positive birth stories.  Read - and believe - affirmations that you can do this.  You are strong and capable.  Embrace this experience.  It is yours and yours alone.

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"Birth is Just One Day" -- Right?

In honor of productions of "Birth", a play by Karen Brody, and BOLD (Birth On Labor Day) performances going on across the country, I thought I'd write a few paragraphs about something I've been talking about with a few people this week.  For the last two years, the Tarrant County Birth Network has put on a huge, amazing BOLD production, which made us a ton of money. (This year our September advocacy is participating in The National Rally for Change on Labor Day.)  

I've read the "Birth" script each year and seen the play numerous times.  There's a line repeated several times in the play in reference to birth -- each time in a different tone -- "It's only one day."

I have an acquaintance who is pregnant with twins, and without going into lots of detail, her entire focus is on getting the babies out alive.  She struggled with infertility for years and is, understandably, thrilled to be pregnant.  She is, however, convinced that the babies will have IUGR (Inter-Uterine Growth Restriction) if they stay in the womb past 35 weeks.  I know, I know, before your head explodes, take a deep breath.  Breathe out.  In and out. 

It's very hard to convey to a mom-to-be that it does matter how the baby gets here.  All of us want a healthy baby and mama -- that goes without saying -- but I'm so tired of this potentially beautiful journey being walked in fear.  She's already planned a c-section.  That fight is lost and is a whole 'nother story.  It ain't happenin'.  Don't waste your breath. 

But it does matter how a baby starts out its new life here on Earth.  Let's play a game for a minute:  If a baby is born at 33 weeks, it'll be roughly 3 pounds.  It took 33 weeks to grow a 3-pound baby that will look like a normal - just small - baby.  So, in approximately 7 weeks, the baby will likely more than double his/her weight.  Have you seen the pictures of a baby's brain at 35 weeks vs. 40 weeks?  It is remarkable. 

Women are often put on diets and told not to gain any more weight in the last trimester.  This can be devastating to a growing baby's brain development.  Mom needs cholesterol and good fats in her diet to help the baby grow normally. I wrote a post about prematurity based on Dr. Lucky Jain's research, who I had the pleasure of hearing speak a few years ago at the Controversies in Childbirth Conference.  There are many issues with forcing a baby out.  But it's not all about the physical side effects of keeping a baby in the womb. 

"It's only one day", right?  WRONG!

I know a sweet mom that had her first baby at 30 weeks and the baby was in the NICU for weeks, thankful he survived.  Her second baby, miraculously, made it to 36 weeks and she had the homebirth she dreamed of.  In her own words, she didn't know what she missed out on the first time until she had a different experience with her second.  Of course, in a situation like this, there's nothing you can do, but in so many cases, there is!  Like the mom insisting on a c-section at 35 weeks to prevent something that is very likely not even going to happen!  The benefits of the babies staying in the womb greatly outweigh any (imagined) risk.

I've seen women so greatly affected by their births, it changed who they were and who they became.  I am one of those women.  I've been a childbirth educator for nearly a decade.  You can imagine that I have all kinds of people in my class over the years.  I have seen shy, insecure women sitting in my class who can barely make eye contact.  Through the course of the classes -- and ultimately their births -- they are transformed into these amazing, powerful, confident, outspoken women.  

No, birth is not "just one day".  "You will always remember how you felt - or were made to feel - on the day you give birth."  I have no idea who said that or where I heard it (please share if you happen to know), but I've carried that in my back pocket for years. 

Birth matters. The end.

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