Dealing... with lots of little kids...

I am often asked how I do it, where I get my patience from, and told I am crazy/nuts for wanting more.

I don't know how I do it, I just do.
I practice with patience, some days I have tons, some days I have none!
& I agree. I am crazy/nuts for wanting more - and yet that doesn't bother me at all - ever!

So here are a couple of things you can do:

• Breathe deeply - I don't know how or why this works but it does, on my way over to deal with a child dispute is a great time to breathe deeply.

• Remain calm - Under all circumstances. A calm mother is nicer, kinder, gentler mother and apparantly more effective. Oh so when things are not going 'calmly' it is probably better to walk away and deal with them when you are a bit calmer. Kids know wrong and right! They just try get away with wrong. No different to adults!

• Be patient - Patience is such a wonderful thing. I love having it and I am sure my children love me having it also. Patience is hardest when your pressed for time, and when your sooo grrrrr'd up with yourself.

• Tell them you {love} them - LOTS - Speaking it out affirms it to the children, reminds you that you love them and somehow makes a lot of that tension disappear as you are reminded that you love them.

• Practice gentleness/kindness - Purposely setting out to behave in a particular way will (usually) mean that you actually set out to act in that certain way.

• Savor the moment - time flies - There are have been several deaths 'around' us in the past few months/weeks (no body close to us) which have made me think about how we tell FB how wonderful that person was and I wonder 'do we tell those people before they die or wait til afterwards when we can't actually use the words TO them'.

• Be wise - out door play is great

• Sing & Dance - little kids love it, singing puts a lightness in our spirits making us more cheerful from the inside. Dancing is just sillyness being acted out.

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Herding

When dealing/coping/living with lots of little kids you commonly hear the term "herding". Herding is a technique used where you keep all the kids together. It helps with things like keeping rooms tidy and supervising multiple kids at once.

It's not good when you need to use the "divide and conquer" technique.

Anyhow.

Today is our first swimming lessons at the pool day, and my first time at the pool with more than 1 kid by myself. I have 4. By myself. (The last time I was at the pools I had just 1 16 month old child and I was with my friend and her 6? Month old.)

It's proving successful. Armed with four wrist bands alerting others to the fact their parent is meant to supervise AT ALL TIMES we headed in, ditched one kid off to her class (showing more confidence than all the other much shorter kids in her class) we just stood there. Watching.

The kids were great and I attribute the success of the morning to the herding technique. I am really encouraged that even though I did need a time out session for one kid twice that I do really have a great bunch of kids no matter what others may or may not say ;)

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Routines

So, awhile ago a friend posted their routine. I thought it was great but it didn't fit us. So I wrote out our 'routine'. Whatever that was.

Over the past weeks or months since that post things have 'changed'. As in, I have realised our routine is a bit more routine-ish.

So here it is:
7-9am Morning Jobs inc. breakfast
9-12 noon Homeschooling (Language Arts, Maths)
12-1pm LUNCH
1-2pm Quiet Time - Read SELF Books & BE QUIET
2-4pm Free play/outing/Homeschooling (Cooking, Science, Soc. Studies)/Sport (Dancing/Tee Ball)
4-5pm Afternoon Jobs/Prep Dinner
5-6pm Dinner, Ready for Bed
6-7pm BED (Okay, so sometimes BED goes over 7pm)

So that is the MAIN gist of things.

On another note, some one asked me 'how do you do it?' (meaning school the kids with young ones). My answer is: We ALL do 'school' together. Kind of like playing a giant game with different players of different skill levels. Except I am the referee and I need to be ALERT or the mess occurs. No, wait, the mess occurs regardless...

So that is our routine & how "I do it". In short.
(Kids ages: 5yrs 11 1/2 mths, 3yrs 11mths, 2yrs 4mths, 8mths)

5 Things I am Thankful for:
1. A routine that works for US
2. Flexibility within the routine
3. Quiet Time - it is a GREAT time of the day
4. Free play - Kids love it
5. Job times. Things get done when they need to

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Genuine of Heart

Remember reading this post here? No? Well, just to refresh your memory. It was bed time and the children were all in their room gearing down for sleep. In fact it was very late and all they were meant to do was go to sleep. I wandered down to check on them to discover a certain child rubbing his blanket on pink wet paint all over the wall. I could hardly believe it. Not wanting to Over-re-act and thus do more damage then good I decided the matter belonged to the Papa.

All he said was 'make him clean it up tomorrow' and they had some special time (briefly) before being sent back to bed.

Well. The. Very. Next. Day. This particular child expressed his heart. I was informed he wanted his bedroom wall painted so that it LOOKED PRETTY. In fact we've had this discussion several times already. Let's face it. In our cheap rental the walls are a neutral and unflattering dull yellow (my least fave colour in the world).

Knowing what I then knew I was super duper glad that I 1). Handed the matter over to someone else & 2). that no disciplinary measures where taken. Why? BECAUSE. Although the PHYSICAL ACTION was 'naughty' the INWARD ACTION was not.

I guess the experience has made me consider what is actually classed as being 'naughty'? Is it something that is inconvenient to us? something that wastes our resources (time, money, energy, etc)?

No wonders they say 'kids will be kids' or 'boys will be boys'. Natural learning, exploring, cause and effect. They are just being in the development stage they are in and learning about the world in which we live.

You don't read that kind of 'parenting advice' in the parenting books.

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No, no no no no!

I seriously LOVE this kid. But seriously he says no too much. Let's face it. He has just turned TWO.

This is our new pram. It is a strider plus with toddler attachment. I can also put our Strider Plus "infant carrier" aka CAPSULE onto it. So far I have used it TWICE. That is TWO walks priced at $425 EACH. Need to use it lots more and I do plan to. Honest.

Both walks I put this no-saying-two-year-old into his bottom part of the pram to strap him in he screamed & I don't mean a 'rebellious-2-yr-old' type scream but more of a DONT-YOU-DARE-PUT-ME-IN-THAT-THING!

See, when I was 35/36weeks gest with the above child we had a disagreement with a mud puddle on a sharp corner & fought with a tree. All was unharmed apart from the tree & the oversized-will-easily-fit-THREE- baby-carseats-and-a-giant-double-side-by-side-pram-in-the-boot. The markings remain on the tree as a reminder of what-never-was.

But it meant we were now 35/36weeks (aka 4-5weeks til due date) with NO vehicle, a 3 1/2yr old & a crazy 17mth old. Not cool. I did envision me screaming my way to the hospital about a km up the street and round the corner in labour but after my 2nd labour (one previous to this) I wasn't taking chances.

With NO finances saved, no insurance, no plans of getting another vehicle...

We settled for an old bomb. I mean I think we paid $1200 for it (approx 3 months after getting it - thanks to Tax & family who practically gave it to us). The problem with this new car was the boot space. It wouldn't fit my giant-double-side-by-side pram. It would fit my run-about-stroller. That I no longer had. Cos someone's husband broke it.

I didn't WANT to go out and spend $$$ on a NEW pram. Especially when I had one that was awesome that I LOVED. So I didn't!

Which meant that when the above child was BORN & I had errands to run (& actually I was babysitting a beautiful 10 month old 3-5days per week ALSO) I had to come up with a new strategy.

I could WALK down town with pram & 4 kids UNDER 4 (3 1/2yr old, 18month old, 10month old & newborn) which I often did. (but couldn't go INTO the bank or any other shop except Target & Coles because I couldn't fit the pram up the stairs OR through the door) OR I could DRIVE down town in my lil red bomb.

Then I would have to SLING my new born, put the 10month old on my hip, grip tight to the 18month old and have the 3 1/2yr old hold onto the 18month olds hand.

Ahhh. Those were the days... I actually miss those days they were so wonderful. *sigh*

This time I put my newborn in the sling, hold the 19-24month olds hand, who holds the 3yr olds hand, who holds the 5yr olds hand. And then we toddle down the street all proud of my 3 little hand holders who are doing it perfectly for the strangers to marvel at & get all clucky and go "naaw how cute" just before someone looks at someone wrong, holds too tight, walks too fast, or too slow & my pride sinks back to reality... as the children begin to fight...

It is a bit crazy at times. Sometimes one or two will run off, keep walking, stop walking. In a few shops they split up in THREE directions. I really hate that. I was given a double pram, tested it out. Ended up carrying a newborn, pushing a pram, yelling at the 5yr old, trying to grab and control the 3 & 1yr old. THAT was nuts. I almost kicked them to the ground just so they'd stop walking. I didn't. But seriously. When you run out from behind your packed 4WD onto the road your going to hit the bitumen one way or another.

So the above toddler has BARELY been put INTO a pram. I mean he has sat in prams, been pushed in prams, fallen asleep in prams. But so rarely. I usually carry him or make him walk.

My 2nd child used to sit in a pram for the WALK (sometimes) but as soon as we'd stop she'd escape. So I'd cross the straps. And she'd escape. I'd pull them as TIGHT as they could go. And she'd escape. So I would be left with a double-side-by-side pram being pushed with one hand and carrying a toddler with the other (& a preggy belly sticking out).

So my 3rd child won't sit in the pram. He really doesn't like it. But you know what? After the initial NO NO NO NO NO! *wipes tear* he sits back and enjoys the ride. Well atleast some of it.

After saying Nope I am not spending money on a pram I've gone and spent a heap on one. An ugly one. The UGLY one I say is UGLY every time I see it. Obviously I got the thing for practicality.

So. In a manner-of-teasing my toddler, I stuck him in the top section FACING ME & made fun of him. All the while he repeated NO NO NO! Ha ha.

Today while toddling down to the shop, two kids in pram, two kids holding onto pram I got to stare and coo at my baby while walking.

FOUR kids, NINE prams. NINE prams and I have NEVER had that function. To stare at my baby. Was quite a novel experience. One I suspect I am going to enjoy, and enjoy often.

5 Things I am THANKFUL for:
1. Ease, of walking with a pram & kids
2. Back pack 'monkey straps'
3. Pram Brakes
4. Tax returns
5. Double prams

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Desperation, A Miracle & Time

Last week I posted about needing JUST 10 MINUTES!! Really, that was all that I wanted.

The following day was somewhat WORSE then that day. I did end up having to chase chickens too. I was begging for a miracle, and for some time. I managed to bake the bestest chocolate cake though! So proud.

Michael is so busy between work & church stuff & going to the gym I *feel* like a single parent, solo parenting, solo doing everything really & for those in the know, I know so many single parents who do NOT work to earn their income!!  Call it what you will, I do the majority of the parenting in this place!
I don't get to stop 'work' because the clock ticks over 5pm and I don't want to... but lets face it... I am NOT super woman, or super mum, and I do need a break, some time out.

Then Michael got home. Stayed home. Put the kids to bed. CUDDLED ME FOR EVER :). THE WHOLE NIGHT :) :)

Fri, I spent the day on a natural high. I had gotten my miracle, gotten my time, gotten a whole lot of attention. So worth it!

So I organised a babysitter for my 3 older children and a camping trip for just us & the baby. That was so flipping awesome!!!

I can't 4wd (drive) cos I am too chicken! But I actually enjoyed it this time :) First time ever! I might even learn to DRIVE the 4wd trek?!?
Camped over night in a lovely yet noisy secluded spot in the middle of no where. Can't wait to go back. We even slept in til 10 o'clock! Don't remember a time that even happened.

As we returned the children were excited about their own adventures, with tons of things to tell us. They are still talking about it. Playing games about it. Acting out their adventures.

Really, I got alot more than I asked for. A Miracle. Some Time. & feel tons n tons better for it. & I don't think I will let that much time pass before we go away again... just us two (plus bubba)... Actually giving birth to Avigail was the last time but I am not sure you could count that as quality time?

When was the last time YOU went away??

I am ready once again, to play joyfully, train, and endure life in my household...


10 Things I am Thankful for:
1. Friends & Family members who asked me how I was going and if they could do something for me - true and worthy relationships!!
2. Babysitters x4. Brother-in-law who gave one-on-one with my boy, I hear you have lots more money then me...
3. Answered Prayer
4. Miracle
5. Time, with Michael. So Peaceful.
6. The children were cared for by people who genuinely love them, just for us
7. Long Weekend
8. Rejuvenated Spirit
9. A quiet spot to revisit with friends and family off the track from other potential campers
10. A hope, renewed and strengthened.


As for the catching up on the washing, and house work I am still unsure.. but it's getting there...

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Lover by Trade,

If a boy can work in a car shop and learn how to maintain and fix a car and be called a 'mechanic',
If a child can go to school and be called 'educated'.
If a teen can enter into uni and complete a 4yr degree on teaching and be called a 'teacher',
If a person can go to Tafe, finish a certificate and be called a 'youth worker',

then I can be called a Lover by Trade.
With 6+ years experience as a wife,
5+ yrs experience as a mother,
28+yrs on earth experiencing love, being loved, and loving...
I don't need a certificate, or a degree, or a piece of paper...
(But I'd sure have liked to have gone to Uni & gotten a degree in marriage and parenting PRIOR to saying I DO - Might have made the first 6yrs more bearable perhaps?!)


There is no one more skilled, more talented, more capable, more able, more willing, more knowledgeable, more wise, to be the wife of my husband, and the mother to Isaiah, to Amalia, to Jarah, & to Avigail.

There is no one that has a more vested interested in the well being of Michael, Isaiah, Amalia, Jarah or Avigail then I do.

There is no one that cares as much as I do for these people.

No one that loves them like I do.

No body knows them like I do.

No body could do a better job with them then I can/do.


& as for you? & your husband? & your kid/s? The SAME THING APPLIES!! Don't under estimate your worth & DON'T LET OTHER PEOPLE EITHER!!!


Now... I wonder what the authorities will say next time I tell them my occupation?

What do I do? Oh! I am a LOVER BY TRADE :)

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You just have to be...

flexible...

When you have lots of little kids...

So often this past few weeks I have had these plans to do this and to do that...

With a goal of doing something else... Today's two goals were to put the clean washing away *done* & get the kitchen cleaned up *done*.

Oh & an appointment at 9am...

So... Come 8:50am I jump into the car and wahla... flat battery... hubby left the lights on... and lights drained my battery...

Okay... so new plan... Reschedule appointment for after 1pm so hubby can start my car...

In the mean time two goals get ACHIEVED...

THEN 1/4 of a 'wish-I-could-goal' gets done (Took wooden chairs up the street to 'the shed' and painted in chalk board paint)

Return home to get cleaned up and lunch on the table...

Hubby comes home for lunch...

Hubby says WATCH THIS!!! http://youtu.be/FNcMgGGOwzE 

So I did... and have a giggle.. its kinda clever...

So come around 12:50pm he tries to start my car... cept it wont start... so he goes to work...

and I call "pop" (Michael's dad) & he comes around to start my car... but it wont start...

SO I cancel my (2pm) appointment for the SECOND time today...

Meh...

2:05pm I am driving down the road... with a cancelled appointment...

So what do I do??? What every mum does when she has to keep the car running when it's got a sniff of fuel left...

Macca's drive thru :)

& go get fuel...


See?? You just have to be flexible when your a mum to lots of little kids...

5 Things I am Thankful for:
1. A 'pop' to call to get my car going... twice in two weeks...
2. Flexible appointment times... its tomorrow at 9am now
3. Goals getting done
4. extra goals getting done
5. my 'school-free' day

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Getting Girs Hair Done

I don't know about you... but when I first started brushing my daughters hair and putting it up she let me no problems. But something happened. And every time I would try brush the dreads out of her wispy hair she'd cry. It could have been me trying to brush the food out, or the fact she wriggles and squirms so much that I might end up pulling her hair. Brushing her hair actually reminds me of being a small child and my Mother brushing my hair. OUCH! I wouldn't keep my head still and she'd pull my hair and it was so long (& beautiful) that it got knotty :(

So I have/had this problem were brushing the hair of my 3yr old daughter offers no peace or silence for either of us. I am sure she will have haunted memories from these experiences and need counseling at a later date.

So... You might catch her with beautifully brushed and neat, slick, shiny, clean hair but I doubt it. But if you were to this is how I would do it....

Yep. That's exactly right. See... That is not me!! So... Get some one ELSE to do their hair :)

Alternatively... Get a pretty basket/bucket/container... then fill it with all sorts of 'pretties' that is used ONLY when brushing hair. Include all necessary hair equipment (brushes, combs, hair ties, clips, leave in conditioner, spray bottle of water) and some extra things like necklaces, bracelets, shiny things, beads, nail polish. It is a lot more fun and so much more practical.

& just so you know we use the elastic type hair bands because a toddler can not pull them out and they actually hold the hair in :) Oh... and cos you can buy 300 for like $2. Bargain!

I discovered this neat little tip when I gave this princess at age 2 her brother's harmonica to hold and got her hair brushed...


5 Things I am Thankful for:
1. Pretty box of pretties
2. SIL who comes and does my princess's beautiful food filled hair... okay so she was here for another reason but still did her hair
3. Leave in conditioner sprays
4. That my daughter has soft, wavy/curly feminine hair
5. Cute pig tails

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