Political Correctness in the Birth Community

I enjoy expressing my opinion and writing this blog. The whole premise of Banned From Baby Showers is the freedom to say all the things you feel you can't elsewhere.  Maybe it's at a baby shower, a playgroup, a church meeting, or lunch with girlfriends.  It's that moment where you decide to keep your opinion (even if it's based on fact) to yourself in order to keep your friends.  Here, you don't have to do that.  Speak freely.

I honestly enjoy hearing what other people think, even when they disagree with me.  No, really.  I'm OK with it.  I've always said, as long as it's kept respectful, free of foul language and hate, speak your mind.  Of course, it's more fun when people agree with me, but it's unrealistic.  It would be boring if we all had the same opinion on everything.

My husband and I are of differently political parties.  We don't really discuss politics at home though.  When we do, our kids hear both sides, so I guess that's good.  I've had so many people tell me that it would make them crazy if their spouse were of a different political party, but I love him much more than I do politics or any opinion either of us might hold.  This week I did tell him that I was slightly disturbed that the push for the "morning after" pill doesn't bother him.  But it was one of those moments when I thought, I'm not going to change his mind by arguing with him and telling him that he's wrong.  He's not wrong for having an opinion that is different than mine.  It was respectful and the discussion was over as quickly as it started.

With that little bit of history, I had an experience this week that I found indicative of the direction society -- including the birth community --  is heading and it really bugged me.  On my BFBS Facebook page, I expressed what I thought of a picture that was floating around in my newsfeed.  It had nothing to do with the photographer, but that's how things got all twisted around.  I should mention that I never look at who takes a picture because I honestly don't care.  If I were a photographer, I might care, but I'm not.  I don't even really know what makes one picture artistically better than another.  I am clueless.  When one photographer critiques another, I don't get it.  They all look the same to me.  Full disclosure about just how clueless I really am.  But I sometimes think that pictures are interesting, sad, angry, or intensely happy.  In this case, I thought it was weird.  I jumped over to my BFBS Facebook page and said so.  I was kind of laughing and kind of shivering all at once!  Then I moved on with my day, shuttling kids around to their various activities.

I started getting texts telling me I started a riot.  Don't try to go read it - I deleted it.  It brought all the crazies out.  Here's where my problem is.  I was told my opinion was WRONG and that I was being mean.  Before that, there were a handful of comments that disagreed with me, which I was fine with. I am not going to have my words twisted around by someone who wants to take me down.  Nothing I said had come from a mean place.  That is not who I am.

This is what I see that is happening in the natural birth community:  It's offensive to say "you can have an amazing birth" because you might offend the people who struggle with infertility.  It's offensive to say "husband" because so many people aren't married or you might alienate the gay community.  To tell people that you loved your birth is a slap in the face to those that required a c-section.  The list goes on and on.  No one can share their experience because they might offend someone else.  Give me a break.

We've got one blogger who has taken it upon herself to police the other bloggers and make sure they are all politically correct and not making anyone else "feel bad".  She is telling people their opinion is WRONG.  The birth community has been brainwashed to think we have to stroke everyone's ego so their feelings aren't hurt.  Are we that fragile as women? Are we so self-centered to think everything is about us?  Honestly, no one can express an opinion EVER because you might hurt someone's feelings and said blogger will come after you.  Said blogger has bullied me and others - telling us who to "like" and not "like" on Facebook, what's "appropriate" to say and not say, and actively trying to turn others against us.  I hate bullies.  I wrote a post last year with said blogger in mind.  It's called Bullying on the Playground of Life.  For the record, I have never posted to someone else's page and told them they are wrong for having their opinions or supporting things that I do not.  It's not my place.  Banned From Baby Showers is my page.  I will not be treated this way on my own page.

Before you express your OPINION, please stop and think "Am I telling this person her opinion is wrong?  Am I respecting her right to her opinion, even if it's not politically correct or my opinion?"

The joke is that I should just write "vanilla" -- plain-Jane, non-offensive posts -- so that my words are not twisted.  Quite honestly, I'm not sure I know which those are.  I didn't think my comments this week were particularly offensive, just my simple observation and opinion.  It was in true Banned From Baby Showers form.

I am not a mean person.  I generally like people.  I would never post something malicious to pick a fight.  I just have an opinion.   I think I'm amusing.  I like a good discussion, but not so much a fight. Like you, I am very busy.  I don't have time for a pointless fight and neither do you! Facebook is the biggest time-suck on the planet. We all have children who want us to get off Facebook.  Go have a good day, and remember, everyone is entitled to an opinion, even if you don't agree.  Just because you disagree, it doesn't mean they are wrong.

I would like to keep writing this blog, but if this trend of walking on eggshells continues, writing is not fun.  I'd rather not write than have to worry who might get offended at my words that are not written with hatred.  Like I said this week, I really hate "vanilla".  Forgive me if I keep writing with a little spice.  If you hate me or what I write, you are invited to either politely disagree or step away.

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I'm Just Gonna Say It... So Don't Hate Me!

The Farm was great and I believe there will be some great things come out of the First Birth Activists Retreat.   I met so many wonderful people doing amazing things all over North America.  One thing I will point out right now is The National Rally for Change.  There are many cities and states participating on Labor Day.  Find out if your city has signed up to take part in the rally.  If not, consider becoming a coordinator for your city. 

Birth Activism will continue to be a big topic here, but I wanted to talk about something that has been driving me crazy.  A couple of things have led to this blog post.  First, someone sent me a link to a post titled "Mind Your Own Birth" by a CNM.  I hate the title.  But I'll come back to that in a minute.

The other occurrence was after posting on my Facebook page about a 16-year-old girl who found out she's pregnant and was turning to her young friend for advice.  The friend sent me a message and I asked if I could share her question/dilemma.   Let me just say, I am not trying to turn this into a pro-choice or pro-life discussion.  Some people went a little crazy, but as usual, I didn't edit.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

But often it's hard to have an informed opinion when you don't understand all the options and/or information.  Let's go back to this idea of "mind your own birth" for a minute.  When I was pregnant with my first baby, I had never known a single person (at least that I know of) that had given birth without medication.  Hindsight is 20/20, but I have often wondered if I would have been receptive to their message.  I had the epidural, didn't feel a darn thing, narrowly escaped a c-section, and was blissfully unaware of what I had missed out on!  That is, until I had a friend have a drug-free birth. 

There are very good choices that have been placed before me throughout my life by people who love me.  I am so grateful for their positive influence, which includes sharing information.  Again, hindsight is 20/20.

I've talked to dozens of women over the years who say that the reason they sought out an unmedicated birth was because someone else had encouraged them by sharing their stories and experiences.   

Once someone has information about all their options -- the risks and the benefits -- fine.  But don't just assume that just because it's their birth, you can't share your experience about natural birth.  It did strike me as very odd that at the end of her post she said, "Birth is not a competition. You don’t get extra points for going without an epidural, for choosing to breastfeed, or for choosing to avoid labor all together with a primary c-section.  None of these things make you a better woman or mother than anyone else."  No one who chooses natural birth is expecting a medal or doing it because it's a competition.  Evidence has shown time and again that there are risks to epidurals, countless benefits to breastfeeding, and "avoiding labor" and going straight for the c-section is rarely a good idea.  That is what is called a fear-based cesarean.  Oh my word.  OK, maybe just not the midwife for me.  I want someone by my side who gives me correct information and tells me I'm strong.  Not someone who gives me an out before I've even started the race!

As for our sweet little 16-year-old...  I was an idiot when I was 16.  I was in no way capable of making an informed decision had I found myself pregnant at that age.  This girl may be sharp as a tack, but I suspect, as Brad Paisley sings, she "can't see past Friday night."  Several people, in the comments, said that she should make her own decision and not have anyone else's opinions forced upon her. 

I disagree.  She needs someone with more life experience to help her understand all of her options -- the risks and the benefits -- each choice would bring.  Ultimately, it is her choice, but the parents can't be taken out of the equation either.  The entire family would benefit from counseling, if you asked me!  My heart goes out to this girl and her family.  But like it or not, she needs guidance and support.  I hope she finds it.

So, I guess I'm just annoyed with the whole it's-her-life-don't-share-your-opinion attitude that I've seen so much of lately.  Since when did we stop caring about what happens to those around us?  It doesn't have to be a banned-from-baby-showers moment either, but just show you care about the people around you.  

You never know who your life/opinion may touch.  You could change their life for the better all because you shared information or your experiences. 

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Guest Post: Mama Birth's Banned From Baby Showers Moments -- Does She Keep Her Mouth Shut?

Don't worry.  You've stopped by the right blog.  It's still me, Donna.  I thought it would be fun to have Sarah -- AKA Mama Birth in the birth world-- post for me this week about her Banned From Baby Showers moments.  Her response totally surprised me, and probably you too.

Before going on, I want you to know that I met Sarah when we were in the same ward together (our LDS readers understand the lingo).  It just means we went to church together.  She had just gotten married and she was our son's Sunday School teacher when he was 4-years-old.  It was the year 2000. 

She has always been outspoken.  Long before she was pregnant with her first baby, Sarah knew she'd give birth without medication, unlike myself.  I wanted the drugs and was scared to death of childbirth with my first baby.  

Because of my experiences -- having a fear-based epidural and not wanting to be informed, followed by 3 unmedicated births and 2 homebirths -- my perspective is different when talking to people who want the epidural.  I understand the fear.  It's not a good place to be.  I have a hard time not wanting to give information.  In case you missed the most recent explanation of my blog title, here it is. 

Anyway, I think the world of Sarah.  She knows who she is.  She loves birth.  She tells it like it is.  I know she is a fabulous teacher (even my son said so!).  But regardless of what she tries to tell you, she is the most sarcastic person on the planet.  Love ya Sarah!  Thanks for stepping in this week.

 Donna is a dear friend of mine. 

Seriously. 

I met her before I ever had kids and despite what others said, I never thought she was crazy. 

(She thinks I am sarcastic.  Can you believe that?!)

So, when I found myself pregnant, I took her class.  She was teaching natural birth classes by then and we signed up.  I think Donna said, "You are signing up for my class," and so I did.  She can be quite forceful you know. 

Miss Donna is very busy these days and she asked me to write a little post on my OWN banned from baby shower moments.  You know, those moments where you have to leave because you are going to open your big mouth, or conversely, you want to leave because everybody is opening their big mouth and offending you. 

Here is the thing though.  I don't really have many. 

I know.  Let me explain. 

I think people assume that because I am Mormon and in what is considered a "conservative" religion that I must get a lot of flack about birthing at home and breastfeeding and all that jazz.  But I don't.

Sure, I have had family members e-mail me articles about how my kids and the entire neighborhood are all going to burst into flames because they (my children) have not been vaccinated.  I had somebody sew me a nursing cover so that I could cover up when nursing.  I know that some people probably say things about me behind my back, but stuff I don't know is said about me tends to not hurt my feelings. 

These little instances I guess COULD offend me, but they don't because I know that all those people are well meaning (even the gossips just worry that I will bleed out at home).  They come form people who love me and genuinely don't want my kids to be hurt because they aren't vaccinated.  I have family member's who remember people getting Polio.  It doesn't bother me that they worry about my kids.  It doesn't even bother me that people try to help me cover when  I nurse.  I don't want everybody to see my nipples either.

 The truth is this- I am probably both pretty lucky with the people who surround me and also pretty oblivious to those around me even when they DO offend me. 

Lucky?  How am I lucky?

Well, growing up I remember my mom talking about the benefits of gravity in birth and the invention of the birth stool.  I knew that I was born c-section- but only AFTER my mother was risked out of a home birth because I was persistently breech and then in the hospital only AFTER a  generous trial of labor. 

When my son was born my brother said to me, "Are you going to circumcise him?  Because when I look at mine, I think, 'That HAD to hurt'- you shouldn't do that."

When I got pregnant with my third baby I had not one but TWO family members hint that maybe I should consider just doing the birth with my husband and me. "It would be cheaper!" said my mom.

Then, when I had my fourth baby at home unassisted (on accident) my parents came back to bring the kids and discovered me and my husband with a baby and no midwives, and nobody freaked out.  "You had the baby!  That was fast!" was about it. 

Because my husband is almost always gone on Sunday and because I have three other kids that would make a ruckus, I nurse my baby, without a cover (she would push it away) EVERY week, front and center in the middle of church.  Maybe people stare, but I don't make eye contact when I nurse!  (Except for with the baby.)

So, in all honesty I feel that the people in my life are kind and loving towards me.  Maybe it is because I am from Northern California where I am really pretty conservative compared to many.  Maybe they think I am crazy- but maybe they just expect that from me and so they don't say anything?  (I did have a friend from high school say, "You WOULD do that!" when she found out I birthed at home.) I don't know what it is, but people around me are very kind and supportive. 

"But, don't you ever say the wrong thing?  Don't you ever have to ban yourself from female functions because you are so offensive?" you ask. 

What makes you think I am offensive?!  Have you been reading my blog?

I did once tell a woman that she didn't need her c-section.  Not my proudest moment, I will admit. 

I am, by nature, oblivious to my impact on those around me.  I am pretty sure this is a family trait.  I could be offending people left and right and they are just too nice to tell me what a witch I am.  

In truth though- even though I don't agree with everybody I meet on their choices, I know they don't always approve of mine, so I figure live and let live.  These people are all kind enough to let me birth and nurse in peace so I probably owe them the same privilege. 

Even women I know who do things I don't- like circumcise or spank or even occasionally cry it out are...well, FRIENDS.  And when I look at the way they parent or the choices they make- I get it.  People in real life don't just birth in the hospital because they are "uneducated" or get induced because they are "selfish" - in real life they usually have good reasons for that.  

Plus- when I pay attention, I realize how much I have to learn from them.  Maybe I do some things right- but even the mothers I have met with whom I disagree the most, do plenty better than I do. 

Let me give you an example.  

I WAS at a baby shower once where I wanted to jump up and slap my hand over the mouth of another mother.  She had one child, and we were celebrating the upcoming birth of a friend's first baby.  The "mom" I wanted to stop from speaking first discussed how awful birth was.  Then she went on to discuss the horrors of breastfeeding.  

You know what- I have probably never met anybody with whom I have disagreed so strongly on parenting and birthing choices.  I did have a hard time being around her.  

You know what else?  I really think she had been damaged by her birth.  She was told she could never birth vaginally and that her body could handle 10 c-sections.  She went from thinking about a VBAC to planning c-sections, probably to avoid what surely would just be another c-section anyway.  

Did I hate that she had been screwed like that by the medical machine?    Umm- YES!

Did I disagree with her views on breastfeeding?  Yes again.

Her attitudes towards her babies I frankly found disturbing.  She was one who let her newborns cry it out so she could get her "needed" 10 hours a night.  (For the record she is the ONE AND ONLY mom I have ever met whose approach to cry it out was so early and so harsh.)

But she had reasons for her opinions, just like I had reasons for mine.  She had been told by those she trusted (medical doctors, her mother, other loved ones) that this was the way to do things.  Those choices worked well for her personality.  Did I worry about her kids?  Yes, I did.  

Guess what- she probably worried about mine because of my "reckless" choices.  

For the record I did try to explain to her why her supply of milk dropped when her newborn was sleeping ten hours a night.  She asked, but then she didn't want to hear it.  And I made DANG sure that I helped that poor mama at the baby shower get on her way nursing her newborn.  I also filled her with stories and tips on having a natural birth.  I did what I could to fix that negativity- but I don't get to pick how other people parent or birth their babies.  

That is not up to me.  And lucky for me, how I birth and nurture mine, isn't up to them.  

I feel blessed to have people in my life who are kind and who care about me.  I feel honored to be surrounded by so many wonderful mothers who I can learn from and who keep their mouths shut when I judge them before I understand where they are coming from.  

Life is good- and I still go to baby showers, even though my friend Donna won't be there!

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What's the Deal With My Blog Title, You Ask?

It's time to revisit the title of my blog "Banned From Baby Showers".  The Haters think that I am banned by the people having babies because of my strong opinions ("No wonder she's not allowed at baby showers!").  I had someone ask me if I have a Texas-sized opinion on all topics, or just childbirth!  Am I allowed at weddings?  Birthday parties?  In fact, my friend Shannon came up with my BFBS icon:  the caricature with the big hat, big hair, and big mouth!

If you'll indulge me in a little story telling, I'll tell you just how the name came about. 

I have been a Natural Childbirth Educator since 2003.  I had my first baby with an epidural in 1996, followed up with a fabulous unmedicated birth in 1999.  I have had 2 more unmediated births since then.  My message to all women?  You can do this!  Don't be afraid!  Birth is transformative.  You are strong! 

I found myself at playgroups and church telling every pregnant woman why she should have an unmedicated birth and seek out midwifery care.  It's an amazing experience that you only experience so many times in life.  Don't miss out on it!

By 2003, I had to do something with this knowledge and excitement for natural birth.  I got certified to teach classes and have taught over 300 couples since.  I love my "job."

In early 2006, I attended a baby shower with some women from church that I barely knew.  I had only lived here for about seven months.  Several of us seriously got into it.  It was ugly.  It was all about inductions and trusting your doctor.  We fought over being informed or, in my eyes, remaining ignorant.  Seriously -- ugly.

The rest of the day was yucky.  I knew I had not accomplished anything but alienate this group of women.  I called several of them before going to church the next day to apologize.  Awkward. 

After that experience, I told my husband that I could never put myself in that situation again.  Teaching to people who want the information would be my only "outlet."  Most people know what I do professionally.  If they want information, they can come ask me.

I simply find it impossible to sit and listen to a group of ill or mis-informed women talk about pregnancy, labor, or birth and not say anything.  Laughing about inductions and c-sections and how necessary they are is not my idea of fun. Most baby showers make a mockery of this sacred event.  

So I stopped attending baby showers.  Word spread pretty quickly, and the story of that famous baby shower must have also spread, as few people have questioned me about it over the years!  The fact that my blog title runs the length of my back windshield also clues people in -- don't bother inviting me.  (As a side note, I had several people -- usually women who struggle with infertility -- tell me over the years how they wish they could ban themselves from baby showers, too.)

I've always liked writing and my husband has bugged me for years to write a book.  He said the title should be "Banned From Baby Showers."  He's so funny and clever.  We laughed over it, and when I decided to write a blog, "Banned From Baby Showers" became the title.  This is my book!  I've been writing this blog for almost 3 1/2 years now.

So, when I talk about "Banned From Baby Shower moments," I'm referring to those experiences with your friends, family, or co-workers over childbirth.  The ones where you have to make a decision about whether to give information, or just walk away from the conversation to avoid a fight.  

I do continue to have Banned From Baby Shower moments, but they are far fewer these days.  I write this blog and I say whatever is on my mind.  If you don't like it, don't read it!  This is the one place I let it all hang out.  Deep down, however, I hope something strikes a chord within you that maybe you can have your baby without drugs.  Like I said in my "About Me," I hope reading my blog changes your life.

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"I Trust My Doctor!"

Every morning, I visit my local Race Trac to fill my mug for the day. The people that work there have a very vague idea of what I do for a living -- something with childbirth.

One of the male employees told me, months ago, that he and his wife were expecting their first baby. He was so excited. I asked him where they were planning to give birth. I informed him that particular hospital has a 60% c-section rate, but there are other options in the area. He explained that their doctor was the doctor that delivered him as a baby.

The months went by and every now and then, he'd give me a report of how much time was left until they met their baby. I would gently remind him that the baby (a girl) didn't know exactly what day she was expected. It could be a couple of weeks later. He would shake his head in denial.

Last Monday morning, he reported that they were getting checked to see if she was "progressing." I told him that I had been a "zero" and in labor 14 hours later. Likewise, I've had students that have been dilated to a 5, 6, even a 7 and not been in labor! The vaginal exam means nothing and would put her on an emotional roller coaster. Again, he shook his head and said they wanted to know.

The next morning, I asked him what they found out. He said they were being induced the next day. I told him that she was more than twice as likely to have a c-section with an induction. He said that she was having a c-section! Obviously, he did not understand the difference between an induction and a c-section! Of course, I asked why the scheduled c-section and he happily reported that his baby was "too big."

From this point on, I wish I could have seen this scene from above! I was practically chasing him around the store trying to give him information about the things that happen in labor to help the baby make its way out. (Truly, a Banned From Baby Showers moment for me!) I was telling him that women are being told their babies are too big everyday, but only 1/2500 women actually have babies that are "too big" to fit through the pelvis. He was moping the floor and literally backing away from me and hiding behind things. I actually said to him at one point, "Will you stop and listen?!" At this point, he looked at me and said, "I trust my doctor!!"

I walked to the register, shaking my head, paid for my drink, and got in my car. My 13-year-old son got an earful! I was so proud of him when he said, "How did babies get out for millions of years before c-sections?"

The next morning, the other employees reported that the couple had had the baby and she was a whopping 7 pounds! There were some ounces added after the 7 pounds, but no one could remember what they were. Let's just say, for the sake of argument, it was 15 ounces, the maximum without tipping the scale to an even 8 lbs. Is this baby too big?! I am less than 5'3" and I gave birth to two 8 lb babies. I don't think anyone would think this baby is "too big." So curious what the doctor said to this young couple...

So, now what? They are a victim of the system and don't even realize it. Maybe that is a good thing. She never experienced any labor and neither did her baby. She wasn't even due yet. She will very likely have problems with breastfeeding, if she wanted to at all. A mom who has a c-section is only half as likely to breastfeed. The implications are so far reaching for the mom's health as well as the baby's, not to mention any subsequent children they hope to have.

Bottom line -- I had nothing to gain by giving him information. I simply wanted them to trust her body, not her doctor. The doctor gained time and money by lying to her about "needing" a c-section. I actually shed a tear for this woman that I have never met. Total frustration. A doctor taking advantage of trusting parents-to-be and a young couple not getting information for themselves! They both are to blame. This is happening every day around us in every city across America. What are YOU going to do about it?

Myself, and 2 other Chapter Leaders, have started the Tarrant County Birth Network, a local chapter of BirthNetwork National, where expecting parents can get information about evidence-based care and the local care providers that abide by the Mother-Friendly guidelines established by the Coalition of Improving Maternity Services, or CIMS. Our first meeting is Thursday, March 11 at the downtown library in Ft. Worth from 6:00-8:00 p.m. We would like anyone who is interested in improving maternity care in the Ft. Worth area to join us. This first meeting we will explain what a Birth Network is, and from there, each month we'll discuss different topics relating to Mother-Friendly care.

Let's make a difference! If you are not in the Ft. Worth area, check out BirthNetwork National to see if there is a chapter in your area. If there is not, start one!

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Tim McGraw & Your Banned From Baby Showers Moments

My life has been so busy -- who isn't, right? -- but every now and then, I'll find myself thinking, "This would be so great to put on the blog." There are many topics that I have written in my head, but just have not sat down to write.

If I may, I would love to tell you some of the totally unrelated things that have been happening in my life. Those of you that know me will appreciate this, and may already know all about it!

As I mention in my paragraph about the blog, I am an enthusiastic member of the Tim McGraw fanclub. I've been a member for almost 10 years, seen him 9 times live, done a Tim McGraw Cruise, etc. Well, a few weeks ago, the fanclub members were told about a taping of "CMT Invitation Only: Tim McGraw" that would be recorded in Nashville. It was very hush-hush. Needless to say, I got an invitation and flew to Nashville 10 days later! I got to see Tim perform in a studio with 99 other people. I was one of the lucky people that got to sit front row, too. It really was a blast. I was so lucky to get to go do that. My husband is the most supportive guy ever. He was picking out my dress online when I found out I got an invite! It made the whole event that much more special, especially since I went all alone. (Actually, my aunt and uncle met me there and I was so lucky to have them all to myself, without my kids fighting for their attention.)

So if you have Dish Network, it will air on October 1. Otherwise, it will air on CMT on November 6. Exciting stuff. I, assuredly, will be the overly happy fan in the front row!

OK, on to birth stuff:

I have talked with so many people lately who have told me funny stories about conversations they have with people about birth and how they just have to keep their mouths shut. When I say, "You had a banned-from-baby-showers moment," they seem to be confused. Maybe I haven't been clear about why I really don't go to baby showers. I want to keep my friends. It's a simple decision. Either give information or zip it! Since baby showers and playgroups seems to be where I hear the most absurd birth stories or "my doctor said" stories, and I just cannot keep my mouth shut, I have to stay away. This way, I keep my friends. If they want information, they know where to find me.

So, I want to hear your banned-from-baby-showers moments. Did you speak up? Did you share your experiences? Did you want to, but didn't? Have you lost friends over birth and breastfeeding issues? I have. There are people that I simply cannot have this conversation with.

Feel free to vent! I am getting more tolerant in my "old" age (tonight someone guessed I was 28!), I like to think. I actually have read so much more material over the last year or two. It helps.

If you find yourself in these situations a lot, one of the most powerful suggestions you can make to a couple is that they look into midwifery care and why you chose to use a midwife. Birth Networks are sprouting up and are also a good place for couples to seek out evidence-based information.

I look forward to hearing your stories and how you handled these delicate situations.

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