I learned through watching others, listening to others, gaining the experience with my own children. Through trial and error I found some things that worked well for us that I want to share and remember for my own family/sanity. I wish that I had been a part of MORE mentors/women's lives during the younger years to glean their experiences and wisdom. Unfortunately for all of us our circumstances prevented those kinds of opportunities. All in their seasons...
I used to have a 3.5yr old, a 19mth old, babysit a 10mth old and a newborn. I loved and cherished those times and grew considerably through them. Actually I kind of miss those days now :S
Now I have a 5, 3, 1yr old with a newborn. I sometimes find it challenging but overall rewarding. Believe it or not parenting is not an area in my life where I struggle.
Anyhoo... Here is my list:
* Pray! Be strengthened in His Word (DAILY)
* Practice the "Herding" technique of having all your children with you. A supervised child gets into less mischief, makes less mess for you to clean up and allows you to pick up on behaviour immediately.
With a 3.5yr old, 19mth old and a newborn the trip to the toilet means taking two toddlers along with you, leaving the door open and talking loudly so you know what they are doing - Actually for me it meant I'd get them to put dirty washing into the washing machine :)
Now we all school in the same room together. Toddler gets put into the playpen if I need him out of my direct way. I am able to put clean washing away while the children do independent work/activities.
* Relish the season of your life. I look back and think Oh I wish I did this more or that more because the times have long gone of having an extra baby during the day, or having two kids, or having my oldest a toddler. That was only last year and the year before.
* Know that this season will end. Whatever 'place' you are in you will eventually be out of and into a new season. As your children grow they will become more independent and (finally) be able to help you to clean up their OWN mess. As mine have grown I have been able to give more and more responsibility out to them. I no longer have to pick up the dirty washing and put it in the basket, pick up the toys after play, clean the children's room and make their bed, etc. I remember having to find clothes for THREE kids and dressing THREE kids just so I could go down town to get something quick from the shops - THEN I had one to dress and find clothes for. Now I am back to two. See? Things change!
* As soon as they are able begin teaching them or showing them how to do jobs. It makes your jobs last a bit longer and can be frustrating with the sheer speed of things getting done but truthfully those training times have PAID THEMSELVES OFF!! Now if only I knew this before hindsight I'd have been more diligent in this! EVEN if it is only ONE part of the 'job' - they will catch on REAL fast and even show you the amazing job they did.
* Plan all your errands, shopping etc and do on one day altogether. One day per week of having to go out here and there and everywhere else is better then splitting it up into two or three or four days in the week.
* Pay bills online - One less visit to pay a bill is time and energy saved
* Take your children along with you from an early age and train them how to behave. I remember thinking there is NO WAY I was taking TWO children shopping with me and to do errands etc. But the Lord told me I needed to which I am grateful of now. Each week I dragged two, three and four children to hubbies work for his pay, to the bank to pay rent, to the post office if needed and then to the shopping centre for groceries.
(Know how you carry so many kids? You put a carry kid in a sling, another kid on your hip, hold your toddlers hand and hope she uses those feet and get the oldest kid to hold the toddlers hand with the hopes that by holding his hand she is being kept 'in line'.)
If you are able (no joke) take one along with you. Great one-on-one time with that child, they feel special, the act high and mighty when they come and you get to find out things about them that you may not have noticed before hand. Oh and the TRAINING that gets had!!!
* Have activities on hand ready to keep those kids occupied. Keep them altogether (wherever possible) so you can just grab a box and sit down with them. I think I counted 20 boxes of different activities. We all sit together and open that one box. Then everything gets put in that box and put back on the shelf.
* Sit on the floor WITH your children while they play. When the floor gets sore use floor cushions or a favourite bean bag.
* Keep your lounge or play area UN-CLUTTERED!! No Joke! Our lounge consists of two lounge chairs, a wooden box and a toy box. Nothing is left on the floor, everything is packed in the toy box. Just about always looks tidy.
* Down Time computer and internet time. My laptop and internet is by far my biggest time wasters. I have often let the credit run out and not used it for weeks on end in which case my ability to get projects completed comes to a sudden increase and plummets when I turn back. What are you biggest time wasters?
* Be prepared. Always prepare ahead. A builder builds a house according to his well written plans. Meals, outings, errands, activities, household chores, having snacks on hand,.
* Relax and simply BE with your children. They can be the most enjoyable people in the world when you sit back relax and have fun alongside of them.
* Get a decent sleep, eat decent meals, get a bit of exercise = look after yourself so you wont get run down and start losing it at every opportunity
* Dont waste your precious time with people who make you feel less then worthy, like your failing, like your an idiot or make you angry/upset/etc. The way you feel impacts the children. An angry/upset mother loses her temper quicker then a calm and encouraged one.
* Encourage one another during your day. Loving, Kind and Gentle words bring a calmer environment and build the self esteem of your children whilst also reminding yourself how wonderful, how delightful, how much you love that child.
So many different things that we as parents can do to deal with having lots of littlies in the home. My list isn't perfect or complete but it's a start and they work/ed for me/us at some point.
Remain Blessed
xx
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