Many many years ago, in my stupid scrawny days of complete immodesty coupled with immaturity and heart desires to be at the beach, daily... My sister pulled out of the linen cupboard my little white dress! Thinking it was a pillow slip. A pillow slip?! Nar! That dress is definitely bigger than a pillow slip.
On measuring said little white dress she was in deed correct. It was the size of a pillow case. Go on, pull out a pillow slip and measure it for size. I'm short if that helps *blush*
While wearing said little white dress one time, standing in an overly crowded cafeteria at our local male-dominated TAFE centre I managed to in-slow-motion drop my pencil case. Pretty sure it looked on purpose. Stuck in a dilemma of how I was going to get that thing without flashing my undies I asked my completely covered, totally modest, absolutely prepared friend to please pickit up. How gracious she was. Saved me. Several times actually ;)
Haha
Another time, while also wearing a dress... We were walking through a group of bratty male TAFE students when we hear a wolf-whistle. My friend replies thank you and keeps strutting her stuff. A soft reply from some bloke 'uhm I wasn't whistling at you' *giggles* what cool friends I had right!! I'm fairly certain the dress was blue. Incase your wondering ;)
During labour with my first child, almost to the end, I suddenly realise in my delirious state that the baby kicking in my womb has plans to exit out *down there* kidding right! Deciding that exit wasn't appropriate not realisibg it was crowning I suddenly yell out "push it back push it back". Hubby, totally cool, calm and sleep deprived says "that ain't going back" and pop that baby was OUT. You know, he still laughs about that. And I was SERIOUS!
But the biggest, most stupidest thing I've ever done, that I never shared at those girly sleep overs when you share your most embarrassing moments.. *deep breath*
When I was in Grade 3 my mummy gave me a signed note to give my teacher. So I did. She told me something and I didn't listen. Properly. But I said the right words to her. The teacher asked me if that was everything mum gave me. I said yes. She asked if there was $40 dollars in it, I said yes. She asked where the $40 was I said in the envelope. See, I was born at the end of the year, so I didn't understand much. I was still a baby! I should have been kept down a year, then I'd have been a tiny bit smart. But I wasn't. I knew there was 2x $2 coins. 2+2=4. She said FOUR-ty. Yep. That's what was in it. Four-Ty dollars.
They searched my bag, the questioned me, they searched my tray, they searched my pockets. They lined every child up in the block. Grades 1-3. Four classrooms worth. They told me $40 was a LOT of money (news to me). They searched everyone's bag and tray looking for the missing $36 dollars. They never found it.
I thought about how I would be coming to school on my own from now on. How all the other kids would be in jail for the missing money. If be the only student. They told me that kids who steal go to jail. You know something? They lied to me!
Finally! The principle returned. They'd called my mum. My mum said there was only $4 in it. She'd pay the $36 later. I remembered the message "mum will pay the rest later".
I had to apologise to the class and other classes for 'lying'. I wasn't impressed, I hadn't realized I had lied. Stood up in the front of a bunch of kids who had no idea what was going on either. When had I lied? I don't remember.
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