Congratulations to Dan Prettyman!

I have the distinct honor of knowing Dan Prettyman personally.  Dan is a tremendous young adult of character and charisma with beautiful dreams that I am certain he will bring to fruition.  Some view disability as a challenge, although I am fairly certain that Dan would disagree.  He is an inspiration to me, he always has been, as my own family journeys through this life touched by autism.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Autism advocate enjoys dream visit to Pepsi—thanks to Jeff Gordon

To know Dan Prettyman is to know that he loves Pepsi. The 2008 Delaware Autism Program graduate and current participant in Autism Delaware’s adult services program works as a file clerk for Christiana Care Neurology Specialists, but his dream job is to be a taste tester for Pepsi.

“I’ve liked Pepsi since the late 20th century-early 21st century,” explains Prettyman. “I enjoyed Hallie Eisenberg’s commercials with the celebrity voices. I tried Pepsi and liked it. I never dreamed it would become a life-long addiction.

“I met [NASCAR driver] Jeff Gordon at the golf tournament [Autism Delaware’s Drive for Autism] in May,” continues Prettyman. “I told him my dream job is traveling the country and doing taste tests for Pepsi. He told me Pepsi was one of his sponsors and he would get me a tour. At the end of July, they set it up. My dad and I visited Pepsi headquarters on November 9.”

Needless to say, the highlight of the tour for Prettyman was taste testing the products. “They had all these different labs. At one, I taste tested the fountain Pepsi and Pepsi Next. At another, they showed me five flavors, and I had to identify them; I got them all right. I also tasted a Slurpee-like Pepsi Next and Bone-Chiller Cherry. I sampled all but the mint because I don’t like mint. And I got to make my own Pepsi. I also got to make one in my own flavor. I chose cotton candy. It was sweet.

“This trip was awesome,” sums up Prettyman. “I want to thank Jeff Gordon and his team for making my dreams come true.”

“I met Dan,” explains Jeff Gordon, “at the Drive for Autism in Wilmington, Delaware, which is always around the Dover race. I was talking to him and quickly found out that he loved Pepsi and was very passionate about it. He told me facts about Pepsi that only someone who really knows his stuff would know.

“The thing that got me,” adds Gordon, “was Dan said he dreamed of the day he could go visit Pepsi headquarters and do some taste testing. Well, that part I could help with and thought it would be great to see this dream come true. I made a couple of calls, and next thing you know, Dan was in New York making his own flavors. Unfortunately, I could not join him, but I hear he was right at home and had a blast. Over the 16 years I have been with Pepsi, I have done some really cool things but to hear how much fun Dan had ranks right up there at the top. I thank Pepsi for being so welcoming and showing Dan such a great time.”

About autism and Autism Delaware

Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life. Considered a spectrum disorder, “autism” is actually a group of disorders with similar features. The symptoms range from mild to severe and present themselves in a wide variety of combinations.

Autism Delaware is a nonprofit organization made up of individuals with autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), their family members, the professionals who serve them, and friends of people with ASDs. With offices in Newark and Milton, Autism Delaware serves the entire state.

Autism Delaware’s programs and services are supported by generous donations from individuals and corporations across Delaware. Fundraising events, like the Walk for Autism, also provide the income needed to make critical programs a reality. For more information on how to help, visit www.autismdelaware.org.

MEDIA CONTACTS

Carla Koss, communications coordinator
(302) 224-6020, ext. 207
carla.koss@delautism.org

Teresa J. Avery, associate director

(302) 224-6020, ext. 203

teresa.avery@delautism.org

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The Unrewarding Side of Rewards

With this article I want to elicit a good conversation, a healthy discussion. You might not agree with the thoughts expressed but I invite you to think differently.

Growing up I don’t remember being rewarded by my parents. Being teachers, my parents never even checked our homework. It was our homework and we did it the best we could. No help was offered neither was praise for doing it right or getting great marks. And we were excellent students both me and my brother. There was no money involved in doing chores either(no wonder I love cleaning). The fact that I don’t use rewards and praise in my parenting today could be explained by the way my parents parented or it could be that I do have a degree in psychology and I am familiar with two types of motivation -extrinsic and intrinsic. Either way, I have made my choice. 

Intrinsic motivation is when you do something because you like doing it, it’s enjoyable for it’s own sake and is inherently interesting. For example, a child practices piano because she wants to be good at it and she really likes music.

Extrinsic motivation is when you do something to earn rewards or avoid punishments. The child practices piano because her parents promised her a new toy or another type of goodie or she was threatened to lose her screen time for a week. 

Constant praising and overpraising and use of rewards is kind of like a disease. Ask anyone and they will most likely say that “bad” behavior should be punished and “good” behavior should be rewarded. 

Just hang out in playgrounds, visit a friend, have someone over for a play date or just observe your own parenting. Parents think that if you comment on every little move children make then you qualify for being a present parent (not to mention annoying for a child, exhausting for a parent).  But do rewards really work the way we think they do or they backfire and are harmful for building self-esteem? 

It turns out they are not as rewarding as you think. And there is a big body of evidence and studies to support that. It is very hard to hear news like this. Rewards and external motivators interfere and erode the intrinsic motivation, the good one. The truth of the matter is that rewards don’t provide long lasting results. Once rewards are removed the person is no longer interested in the task. 

What lies underneath the constant need of using “good jobs”? 

Is it the anxiety that our kids will not behave as well as expected? Trust? We don’t trust our kids for being “good” on their behalf. The desire to be a good parent (nothing wrong with that)?. If we reward a child for picking up his toys and by reward I mean anything from stickers, to a cookie, and an ice cream, a toy, money or a verbal “goodie”...do you think we are teaching him how to be neat and tidy in the long run? Do you want to manipulate your child into behaving in certain ways for a reward or...you rather instill long lasting values, like cleaning a room is not a nasty task and it shouldn’t be viewed that way. It’s making ones environment neat and clean because it feels good to be in that kind of space and it’s easy to find things. I think everybody will agree that long lasting effects are more welcomed. It all comes down to motivation. What motivates kids to do so and so? Are we in favor of extrinsic motivation or intrinsic? 

Would you rather have your child eat her food/veggies for the promise of dessert or because she needs healthy food to live? (no wonder children hate veggies)

So what’s wrong with rewards and praise or shall I say overpraise? 

-They offer judgmental evaluations and over time children become addicted to that kind of parental approval. Not to mention you have to raise the stakes the older your children get. A 4 year old will tidy her room for a lollipop but a teenager?

-They are manipulative. And once they are removed you have no influence over your kids and they have no real interest in tasks/activities. 

-They kill the intrinsic motivation. There is a big body of research out there that supports this view.

-They limit the child and her potential. Suppose your child is not ready to give up a certain task but because she is offered a reward she is more likely to give up assuming that’s how much was expected of her to earn a “good job”. 

-They create pressure for the child to behave in a certain, expected way and produce certain results.

-They affect the self esteem in a negative way, even if you think the contrary is right. The child should be given an opportunity to make conclusions about ones self. I think we should allow the child to form her own judgment about herself, her abilities and achievements.

When we throw in a “good job” for even the most trivial and ordinary things it loses it’s value and children quite frankly become desensitized to it. Unfortunately, it is being tossed around more than you think. 

Once at a gymnastics class I witnessed something I never forget. After the final lesson all the kids were given stickers. There was a boy who had his entire extended family there to cheer him as he was graduating from Harvard with a PhD. After receiving his sticker the boy rushed to show it to the family members and they all went in unison, almost in perfect harmony “Wow, you got a sticker...Good job!”

Now, I am not suggesting one shouldn’t be proud of his/her own kids. Not at all. In my seminars I teach parents how to use praise and encourage kids positively using “words that work”. Encouraging a child is a positive parenting strategy. 

I made up my mind about raising my child without rewards and pompous praise. And so far it works. I want her to form her own judgment about her abilities, performance and achievements. This is in accordance with my being-in-tune-with-ones-self philosophy. I want her to establish goals for herself and follow through and while facing challenges have a chance to evaluate her own skills. I don’t want to limit her growth with my subjective judgments and evaluative remarks. I want her to develop self-discipline, self-control, and self-reliance. I know she is a separate being from me and I respect and accept that. I clearly want to deliver a message to her that regardless of her achievements and efforts she is still loved and accepted the same way. Her achievements don’t make her a better child. She is mine-therefore she is loved ALWAYS. 

Honestly, I feel triumphant for my child’s biggest achievements, I feel enormous pride but I don’t reward her. Because I don’t want to limit her growth and block her potential. I believe children are born with enormous potential. Yet not all of them bloom and flourish. Most just survive. 

When I see her struggle trying to draw a “perfect” 

treble clef I admire her devotion, her focusing ability and her persistence. She won’t give up. The ordinary parent (not authentic) in me wants to scream out of happiness after her first trials and believe me they come out very well, but I know she has her goal set up to that “perfect” treble clef. And her perfect is not mine. I know one day she will. And I know what my response would be, “You worked so hard and looks like you are finally happy with the result”. 

If every little action is a “good job” what do you say or going to say when they really accomplish something big? 

To use rewards or not to use and whether they are good or harmful and what kind to use ultimately every parent decides for themselves. It’s a personal choice. But next time your child shows you her art work don’t just say an empty “good job”. Describe something she did differently or simply ask her a question about her picture. 

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#Giving Tuesday - Birth Boot Camp joins forces with Best for Babes

As part of #GivingTuesday, Birth Boot Camp® will be donating $75 from every online childbirth education class sale to Best for Babes from Tuesday November 27 through Tuesday December 4.

The Best for Babes Foundation is the only mainstream non-profit cause dedicated to helping women overcome the many barriers they face that end their breastfeeding journey too early. Their mission is to help moms Beat the Booby Traps®-the cultural & institutional barriers that prevent moms from making informed feeding decisions and from achieving their personal breastfeeding goals, whether that’s 2 days, 2 months, 2 years, or not at all; to inspire, prepare & empower™ moms; and to give breastfeeding a makeover and give moms the solutions they need to make it work and feel fabulous!

They are harnessing the power of celebrities, the media, advertising, corporations, health-care professionals, health and disease foundations, moms and breastfeeding advocates to put positive pressure on the Booby Traps® to increase breastfeeding rates and improve the health of moms and babies.

Birth Boot Camp® is committed to training couples in natural birth and breastfeeding through accessible, contemporary education and offers online childbirth classes.

Birth Boot Camp makes childbirth education easy, effective and accessible with live or online classes to best fit your needs and desires. Our unique and fun curriculum is geared towards couples working to have an unmedicated natural birth.

Sign up for the most comprehensive online natural birth classes available today and support a wonderful cause!

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It's CYBER MONDAY at Birth Boot Camp®

I have two exciting things to share with you in regards to Birth Boot Camp natural childbirth classes.  First, with Cyber Monday taking place on Nov 26, we are offering an amazing deal for 24 hours.  If you are looking for a complete - and fun - natural childbirth education course, you found it! BIRTH BOOT CAMP ONLINE CLASS SPECIAL! The 10-week course is being offered for $75 off the regular price.  You'll have access to classes for 3 months, receive the 154-page workbook, and the breastfeeding DVD "The Ultimate MRE" is yours to keep.  This is what people are saying about Birth Boot Camp online classes: “Classes have been awesome. I don’t want this to sound creepy, but I wish I could come out to Texas and give you a hug! I just love listening to you…and you even have my husband intrigued, asking when our next popcorn/movie night will be!   I’m due on June 15th… getting closer…. trying to be patient and relax as much as possible. I feel so prepared — I’m actually excited. I can hardly wait! Thanks for a great resource!” ~ Kiera “The videos gave us reassurance that we were not on some pilgrimage to pull off something no one had ever done before. It was great to hear that others had not only done it, but instinctually did it well. I’m very grateful our midwife recommended Birth Boot Camp for us to take.” ~Ashton "Last night I was doula for a couple who had taken the online Birth Boot Camp classes. They were so prepared and mom and dad were both amazing! After 19 hours, they got the natural birth they wanted, a sweet 9 lb 1 oz baby girl. At one point in labor mom was very discouraged and dad was telling her how he was proud of her and how everyone was impressed with how far she had come. Then, he said, "Baby, Ina May and Donna Ryan would be proud of you too." It inspired her into a whole new round of "I can do this". It is recommended that you not begin classes until you are at least 25 weeks pregnant.  If you would like to take advantage of this once-a-year sale, but aren't quite 25 weeks yet, go ahead and register and we'll delay your classes until you reach 25 weeks.  In the meantime, we will send out your workbook and breastfeeding DVD.  If there is a live instructor in your area, check out their schedule.  (Some instructors may be willing to take the Cyber Monday coupon if you register on Nov 26.) The second exciting bit of news is, when you go to the Birth Boot Camp website, you have an opportunity to receive a FREE PREGNANCY NUTRITION REPORT.  We are so proud of it!  Not only is it beautiful - and full of scrumptious recipes - the information is invaluable.  The email pop-up will appear when you go to the website and it'll take you no time at all to complete.  The report will be emailed to you.  If you are not interested, simply "x" out of it and continue on to the website.   Couples are having amazing Birth Boot Camp births all over the world and we are proud to bring modern, contemporary childbirth classes to you, no matter where you are located.

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Ice Painting

It's so exciting that the weather where we live is warming up. 

On days like this I start thinking about all the things we can do outdoors.

Possum enjoys using finger paint, however, I thought I'd try freezing coloured water blocks and allow her to paint with those. 

This is a great activity because it teaches Possum two main things. Sensory awareness, because the ice will feel quite cold and cause and effect as she makes marks on the page. 

Possum thoroughly enjoyed this activity. She was interested in the face that the ice felt cold but was also keen to use them to make marks on the paper. 

This is a great outdoor activity. Obviously you need to be a little careful and ensure they don't swallow  the ice blocks so close supervision is required. 

kate_lloyd@hotmail.com

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Books for Babies - INDESTRUCTIBLES

People often email and ask me to recommend books, especially for babies. Hands down you can not go past INDESTRUCTIBLES. Indestructible books are the perfect way to allow babies to experience books (sighting pictures, words and turning of pages) in a way they understand. They are TEAR-PROOF, CHEW-PROOF and WATERPROOF (aka drool). I love and highly recommend these because you don't have to stress they are ruining a book you've paid $20 for and with INDESTRUCTIBLES they can play and explore books in their own way, with their mouths.

Great as gifts for new babies.

Cost $5 - $10

Please check out this website for more information and video. 

www.indestructiblesinc.com

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Baby Maracas

These little baby maracas couldn't be easier to make. 

Find some small containers from around the house and add a few interesting items. 

Here I have added things found in the pantry. 

When you shake these they will each make a different sound. 

BABIES LOVE THESE. 

Just be sure to have a container that is well sealed. 

You could also add buttons or beads. 

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China Update #2

Isaiah has just had his 7th birthday. He is not currently interested in a lot of different things.

He'd like a helicopter that he can fly - we have one, he'd like a remote control car - we have one, he'd like a remote control boat - we have one.

There's a few other things he'd like but only once he's seen them, which means he wants it cos he has seen it. I don't like those kinds of spur-on-the-moment items, they get over them too fast and don't play with them, OR they break.

He was blessed to receive a LOT of money! Some cheeky Aunty gave him all different notes! So we did a lesson on using different notes ;)

Later on today we will head to the bank and bank it, bringing his total savings up past the $200 mark at (I think) $230!!!!!

We worked on his numbers, building a thousand block cube, showing how much he had, transferring $$ into blocks ($20 note = 2x10 rods) and carrying blocks to the next place value. Until we had our final number.

A quarter way through his first 1000 cube block :) and he's happy!

I won't be updating regularly on this btw ;) but wanted to acknowledge this huge blessing to him!

Oh yeah, he's also receiving $$ by paying for things and pocketing the change! Cheeky ah!

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and supporters and my readers! 

May the good things of life
be yours in abundance,
not only at Thanksgiving
but throughout the coming year.

Have a wonderful holiday with your loved ones! 

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Isaiah turns 7

Its my big boys birthday, he's incredibly going to be 7! Well he is.

I believe he has had a very blessed day.

First up was a breakfast at McDonald's with his nana who shares a birthday with him. Happy Birthday Nana Shaz.

Play at the park with some special kids.

Received a recorder (I think my mum is trying to pay me back for something??!)

Lunch at bakery. He chose fruit salad.

Was served at bakery, handing money over and pocketing the change. All $8 of it! Sheesh

Camera bought for his gift (& SD card!)

Birthday party with too many people ;) at park of his chosen place.

Playing with friends for ages.

Receiving birthday cards! He likes birthday cards.

Receiving money that he plans on putting away to go to China.

Walking his little sister into gymnastics class while I waited in the car with babies.

Having a train cake. Complete with train and track. Made with love and frustration by Aunty Vicki

Collecting little sister from gymnastics while I waited in car with babies.

A visit to the Circus with just his dad.

Buying a light! Wooh.. From the circus.

Getting a 'big Mac' after the circus with Dad.

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A Thanksgiving Moment Brought to You by the New Jersey Education Association

When my family, friends, school district, coalesced with our fellow Delawareans to stuff a truck - a 17 ft UHaul - headed for Hopatcong, New Jersey, to deliver relief to a borough badly beaten by Sandy, I truly had no idea that we were being intricately woven into a Thanksgiving miracle.

So much has been written and recorded about that trip into a desolate and darkened county. We were stunned to be greeted at the shelter with a news crew and the New Jersey Education Association quick on their heals.  If that first story aired on NJTV, we never saw it - we were en route home, and really, we didn't care.  We weren't looking for press.

I spent the following days organizing our photos along with some "lent" to us by those living in Hopatcong into a photo essay.  The motivation was simple - create an online archive of the devastation, the development, and delivery for those who both donated and received.  When we pushed forward that first weekend following the hurricane, we did so with no non-profit status and no tax breaks to donors, no tracking donors, and no formal thank-you.  After hours of receiving donations, we locked down our truck and stood with the Zedans and said to each other, "This is amazing. All of these donations, all of these people who didn't know us, trusted us, strangers, to take these items to those who needed them." The four of us were awe-struck. The day we launched hopatcong.blogspot.com, we were again astonished when the website gathered 20,000 unique hits in 24 hours.

The surprises and the good karma have continued.  Our photos were "borrowed," meshed with others, and made into an amazing video.  New Jersey and New York media outlets finally picked up the stories of Hopatcong and surrounding townships. The News Journal called - while I was with my Girl Scouts - the same girls who, with their parents, helped us pack the truck.  Beckie Zedan, my partner in crime and off-the-chart crazy ideas, received a special thank you letter from students in Hopatcong. And lastly, as we headed into Thanksgiving week, the New Jersey Education Association released the following video - the pictorial shows the story of the wonderful NJ teachers who, in the face of disaster, put their students first!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Sec. Murphy tries to peddle his wares to districts

Delaware's Governor-appointed Secretary of Education, Mark Murphy, will not seek an increase in funding for his department for the next fiscal year.

According to the News Journal, the Resident Rodelien will instead seek increases aimed at technology improvements, early education funding, and dual enrollment opportunities for high school students.

I don't buy it.
1.  It's a ploy to curry favor with districts and school boards.  It comes as sequestration of federal funds due to a stalemate in the federal congress threatens millions in funding for IDEA, Title I, and the like with the impact to be felt school budgets for 2013-14.  For Christina, we are looking at a loss of federal funds of more than $1 million.  Murphy fails to acknowledge this threatened funding cliff.

2. As described in the story - Murph's budget fails to address career-readiness upon high school graduation.  Not every child is headed to college.  Dual enrollment is an awesome opportunity IF the student is seeking to continue his/her education.  That's a big IF.  Where's the VOCATIONAL spending?

3. There's no mention of OEC for DOE direct employees.  OEC or Other Employment Costs reflect benefits, etc.  There's been turnover at DOE under Coach Murphy and I don't see a zero net, although in all fairness, maybe he's found another way to reward the new crew. Thankgiving chickens, anyone?

4.  Charter legislation is coming.  I'm personally hoping to see charter schools required to operate federally-compliant school nutrition programs.  There are strong indicators that this is coming, most notably it was required that NCS establish such a program in order to expand.  But, DOE has been diligent in offering help to those charters that currently do not operate the program.  Spidey sense says its on the horizon.  Since cafeteria funds are exempt from the charter funding formula (and they should be b/c most district school nutrition program are self-sustained) start-up funds will need to be found somewhere else.  In fact, the coming charter regulation could come with quite a price tag.  DOE should be prepared.  This story indicates they are not.

5. No mention of Smarter Balance which is likely to include another hefty price-tag to implement.

6. Most importantly, this is NOT an election year.  Last year, the Gov. invested in education spending to buy votes from parents and teachers.  He's now on the free-reign for the next four years plan as few legislators on either side of the aisle challenge his budget requests. And we should be thankful for the few who do.

We should all be wary. VERY wary.  There are too many holes in this story to see it for anything more than a DOE-staged feel-good fluff piece.

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A day of shits and giggles 21-11-2012

My day was meant to be wonderful, as many of my days truly are. Today was meant to be no different!! But it was..

It started off that I felt tired but no worries, a little tired-ness hasn't killed me yet.

I visited a friend and it was good and nice and enjoyable. But my kid got bored. It was okay but a little annoying that he was so inconsiderate of my chatting. *laughs*

We went home and started to get lunch ready. We are out of gas and most foods so it was tricky. Tomato and mayonnaise toastie?! Ok! Kids choice, they made it. Or Vegemite :)
Just annoying the shop I did last week, the food left too quickly and NO money!

Then I was tired, waiting around for ultrasound time. And cleaning up.

I had to get diesel. $5 of small change :s petrol station doing work on diesel pump, annoying.

Isaiah sees man washing his window. I put diesel in car, go indoors to pay, return to find child ON car washing windows. Cute much? But he took AGES & made us later to ultrasound.

Pick Michael up from work, drive to ultrasound, arrive late. Vicky not there. She wasn't far behind.

Lady refuses to let the kids and sis in laws in (already blogged on that) just irritating.

Swimming lessons. A whole hour of sitting at pools with no pram. I forgot it. Baby can't be contained, baby teething suddenly, screaming, crying doesn't want to stay put.
Was going to buy food from cafe to keep baby happy but they were shut.
Had to borrow money from 6yr olds savings to pay for entry. Have card but it broke and they can't find my name on the system or record of me buying it.

Go home, dinner is already cooked! Whooh! Discover Isaiah doesn't like chicken with bones in it.

Going out to bible study, race to shop for coffee, car won't start for me. My finger is too weak to press the immobilizer button.

I ask hubby to come rescue me.
Made people late for bible study - cos they were picking me up.

Man friend rocks up, pulls button thing apart, clicks button and I start the car.
Hubby rocks up :( so graceful about it! Packs 3 kids in car, two he has to buckle in himself!

Off to bible study. Was really good and nothing silly and annoying! Whooh!!

5 things I am Thankful for:
1. Healthy growing baby
2. Friend to visit
3. Kids learning to swim
4. Husband caring enough about my distress to put himself out there and come rescue me
5. Bible study

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100% Banana Ice-cream

Are you like me and seem to constantly have the embarrassing brown (almost black) bananas sitting in the fruit bowl? I'm sure you had great intentions for those bananas. I do every week! 

Well how about we turn them into something amazing, like ICE-CREAM! 

The best part of this recipe is you only need BANANAS. 

That's right, this is a banana only recipe. 

Be sure to get your children involved in making banana ice-cream. 

In fact, leave them to it because it is really so simple. 

___________________________

Firstly mash up those ripe bananas

Add the mixture to a blender. No need to add anything. 

 Blend the banana until is it smooth. 

Add to a small container and freeze for 24 hours. 

Scoop out the frozen banana and drizzle with chocolate if desired. 

What a great way to use up those brown bananas????

I hope you enjoy this recipe. Please feel free to email me at - kate_lloyd@hotmail.com

Inspired by 'Come Together Kids'. 

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Ultrasound 18-20 week

Mummy: "we are going to see the baby today"
Jarah (3years) "yeah"
Mummy "where will we see the baby?"
Jarah "on the screen"

He's absolutely right. It amazes me how much little people manage to know.

Fast forward to ultrasound:

We arrive and sit down. The lady at the counter is on the phone. She calls out my name and asks if 'all those people' are with me. I say yes.

She then informs me that they can't all come in! I'm horrified! She's flipping kidding me!!

So I inform her that they were ALL with me last time only 2-3 weeks ago!!

She looks determined to be right.

She tells me that there isn't enough room. I know she's lying! We all fitted in with plenty of room to spare last time and none of us have grown that much to suddenly not fit.

She asks if a 'lady' was at the counter next time. I said yes. She nods her head and says I'm sorry. I know she's not.

She says she'll ask the radiographer. And even he says no. They offer NO KIDS! Just my 'partner'.

I ask if the kids can come in and they say no.

You know, if it was you, you'd be allowed to take your kids in. But not me.

The slip of paper says no unattended kids. The three children needing attending all had attendees.

My two helpers (both sis-in-laws) graciously stayed in the waiting room with all four children who were meant to be with us, experiencing the baby on the screen.

They offered for them to come in at the end. Barely the same thing!!

Actual ultrasound:

The Ultrasound itself was fairly uneventful. Bubby is growing well and healthy with nothing wrong with him or her.

Bubby is facing down and didn't turn so there's no profile shot. I couldn't exactly tell who bub looks like but I'm leaning towards Isaiah (aka me). It's got legs and feet and arms and hands that look like they are going 'grrr'. Didn't really get a good look at anything. Except internal organs.

Bub wriggled lots, moving on screen and Michael saw bub move from the outside for the first time.

I've never been able to tell male from female so when he said that's the pelvic bones and there's the kidneys I didn't look, see or notice anything.
I still don't know what bubby is so I'm truly pleased about that.

The heart is beating string and we could clearly see the four chambers.

After this many ultrasounds and not a lot of detail the overall experience was fairly non-eventful.

Kids come in:

Michael got to call the kids in and two sister-in-laws.

They saw briefly its face, spine, heart, legs, feet, hands and torso.

And then it was over.

5 Things I am Thankful for:
1. Kids seeing atleast a little bit
2. Healthy baby
3. Sister-in-laws who both missed out but helped watch kids without us :( sorry guys
4. More accurate dates (edd April 12th 2013)
5. The Gift of Life growing in my womb

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The Fun Factor

Did you have fun at the party? Was it fun at school? We are going to have so much f u u n...! Tell someone about a place you visited or did something the first thing they are likely to ask is about the fun factor as if (how dare you feel other feelings) that’s the most important part of being a human means. 

We alter our children’s true feelings. We don’t let them feel what they want to feel. We shush them with there-is-nothing-to cry abouts and we deliver a message that only happys and funs are accepted. We don’t let them be bored. Thank Goodness for smartphones, ipads and other electronic devices...Why is it that we feel the need to make sure that our kids are entertained at all times? So what if your child went to a birthday party and it wasn’t fun or he didn’t have fun. Why is it that we always try to force-focus our kids attention towards the fun?
Is there something wrong with feeling frustrated, unhappy, dissatisfied, discouraged, bored, mad...Are we trying to raise kids who should mainly focus on the “fun” aspect of things/life? And with that aren’t we setting them up for big disappointments in life later? Because we all know life is not one big party and it is not and shouldn’t be fun at all times. There is a whole range of emotions out there besides being happy and finding fun. 

We unintentionally numb our children towards pain, compassion, learning a lesson from struggle, making mistakes and failing...We alter their reality and their inner world. And yet we are surprised that the number of crimes is rising and there is too much violence etc. 

I witness a growing number of parents who use an electronic device in restaurants to keep their child entertained while having a meal. God forbid that child should be a part of what I call it a human moment. How is she going to learn conversation skills? Patience? Manners? -----???

Let’s don’t talk about waiting in queues or going on car rides or...We discourage a young mind from thinking and feeling true, authentic feelings and prohibiting our children not to be in tune with themselves, and with others. Because if you are not in tune with your mind and body what’s the likelihood you will tune in to other peoples feelings? 

Having fun is fun. But I find comfort in solitude. I create more when I am bored. I go to a theatre when I want to be entertained. I see problems as challenges to be solved. And I don’t have games on my iphone for my child. 

I want her to wait in lines in stores and feel impatient, look around, observe and think. I want her to just be herself or count the buttons on her jacket. 

I want my child to have enough time to dream. I want my child not to be glued to TV after retuning from school so she can create. I want her to feel sad and other emotions and I want her to know I accept and acknowledge her in her many ways. She doesn’t have to be happy for me to accept her nor should she please me. 
Let's be real! Let's be authentic! 

Happy (fun) parenting! 

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DEDOE Staffer's Job Choice leads to death of a charter school

In early November, the Miller-McCoy Denver Board of directors decided to surrender the school's charter and withdraw plans to replicate the LA Recovery Zone charter school previously led by new Delaware DOE PZ director, Keith Sanders and co-founder Tiffany Hardrick, who also relocated as Assistant Superintendent of Newark, NJ Public Schools.

 

The new Miller-McCoy Charter was slated to open in Denver in August 2013.

 

In a press release, the Denver board states: "Without the leadership of these co-founders, the Miller-McCoy Denver Board of Directors felt that it would be difficult to assure a successful start-up and opening for the school," said Ross. "Therefore, we elected to surrender their charter."

 

Keith Sanders opens a school in Louisiana and works to expand his model to Colorado:  Bring me your boys, we'll nurture them, teach them, turn them into graduates, make them men of distinction and oh, by the way, I got a better job in Delaware so you're on your own.  Gee, I wonder if this will be the legacy Sanders leaves our children?

 

But, let's be fair, while Sander's exit may have killed the Denver charter, his MMA partner left the LA charter in a bit of a lurch, too. Tiffany Hardrick's brother, Bobby, owned the bus company with which the school had contracts for student transportation, a clear violation of Louisiana Revised Statutes Title 42, Public Officers and Employees Chapter 15 Code of Governmental Ethics Part 2, Ethical Standards for Public Servants.  MMA and B. Hardrick agreed that the last day of service would be Nov. 2, 2012.  On Oct. 29, B. Hardrick ceased to serve MMA's students, leaving families and children with no transportation to school.  MMA has since resecured the services of Hammond Transportation, the company that lost the contract to Bobby Hardrick's company.  MMA is now in the process of self-reporting this ethics violation.

 

And I'd like to dispel one other Sander/Hardrick/MMA myth.  Miller-McCoy claims a 100% 2012 graduation rate. "The founders' efforts resulted in groundbreaking achievements for the Class of 2012. Each of the 72 seniors in Miller-McCoy Academy's first graduating class received college acceptances to 27 colleges and more than $420,000 in college scholarship offers."

 

However, Miller-McCoy enrolled 117 students into its 1st 9th grade in 2008.  They graduated 72.   What happened to the other 45 students?  Hello? 72 is not 100% of anything. In fact, according to the study of the data that the link above takes you to, Miller-McCoy flagged for disappearing students.  All that glitters is not gold, as they say.

 

And one last thing - All of these problems pile on atop of a high-stakes test cheating scandal involving the founders of Miller-McCoy.

 

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http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_21956283/plans-denver-all-boys-charter-school-scrapped#comments

 

 

 

 

Plans for Denver all-boys charter school scrapped

Posted: 11/08/2012 09:21:36 AM MST
November 8, 2012 4:58 PM GMTUpdated: 11/08/2012 09:58:20 AM MST

The Associated PressAssociated Press

Read more: Plans for Denver all-boys charter school scrapped - The Denver Post http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_21956283/plans-denver-all-boys-charter-school-scrapped#comments#ixzz2CghtOf9S
Read The Denver Post's Terms of Use of its content: http://www.denverpost.com/termsofuse



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Fear of Rupture

I received a Facebook message from someone wanting to have a VBA2C, but dealing with a lot of fear.  I sent the message on to my go-to VBAC girl, Abbey Robinson.  Her response was so fabulous, I asked if I could post it here.  I hope you will find it helpful if you too are wanting a VBAC but dealing with the fear that is spoon-fed to our VBAC mamas.

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy.  I, personally, had a VBA3C so I can definitely understand where you are coming from.  VBAC is a huge commitment and learning everything you can about the process is crucial to success.

I think that it’s normal to be fearful when you hear so many scary stories on the internet and through friends, family, and acquaintances.  From what I am hearing, your major concern is that you may not know/feel when/if you have a uterine rupture.  I will try to address this for you.

I never speak in absolutes regarding anything, so I’m not one of those people who will reassure you that there is no risk and everything will be fine.  Simply being pregnant and carrying a baby has risk.  Having a 3rd c/section places you at risk for many complications, much more than your 1st c/section would have been likely to cause.  Your risk of 

•    major complications is a whopping 7.5% (including but not limited to are listed as  uterine rupture, hysterectomy, additional surgery due to hemorrhage, injury to the bladder or bowel, thromboembolism, and/or excessive blood loss.)

•    Placenta accreteta: 0.57%

•    Risk of hysterectomy: 0.9%

•    Risk of blood transfusion: 2.26%

•    Risk of dense adhesions: 32.2%  (can cause life long pain/bladder and bowel problems/back pain (from everything sticking together) and will heavily complicate any future c/sections)  If you want statistics on a 4th c/section (if you plan to have more children, let me know.  The risk goes up many more times for each complication)

   http://icanofomaha.webs.com/vbacorrepeatcesarean.htm

That leaves you with VBA2C and the risk of “uterine rupture”.

There was an Australian study of over 29,000 women who spontaneously went into labor where the risk of UR without augmentation (pitocin, prostaglandins, cytotec, etc.) with one prior incision was found to be a very low 0.15%  Once you introduce labor augmenting and induction drugs, the risk of uterine rupture increases to 1.91%.  HUGE difference.  From the studies that have been done on VBA2C or more, there isn’t much difference in the UR rates.  Cochrane reviews have identified true UR rates to be around 0.4% when no augmenting drugs were used.  Most of those cases were uneventful and mother and baby were healthy and fine.

SOOOOO, now that we’ve established that statistically, you have much better odds of having a VBAC with no uterine rupture than the risks of having a 3rd c/section, let’s talk about what you might feel and how to identify a UR.

Much of what we refer to as ‘uterine rupture’ is what is medically known as ‘dehiscence’ or a ‘uterine window’.  This is where the scar tissue begins to separate but a thin piece of tissue is left so the muscle doesn’t completely rupture but it’s so thin you might even be able to see through it.  Even though this ‘window’ is included in the statistics for ‘rupture’ when it is identified (usually when a mother is having a RCS either scheduled or after a trial of labor) It has mostly been found as harmless…usually no repair or special care is needed and it heals on it’s own.  There’s not enough information to know if it increases your risk of rupture for the next pregnancy or not.  But if you didn’t have it last time, there is no reason to believe you will this time.

Sometimes a rupture is painful.  Sometimes there is absolutely no doubt that you are having one, but as you have found out, it’s not always that way.

What WILL happen is your body will act differently.  If your uterus has a tear, it will not function like it did before.  It may become boggy and limp.  It may suddenly change shape.  You will probably have actual bleeding (bright red blood rather than normal bloody show).  As long as you are not medicated (don’t have an epidural or narcotics) you will feel that something is different. 

Much of the time, when a mother goes back for a section and there is a dehiscence, the OB will make a point to tell the mother that her uterus was rupturing, she is then terrified into scheduling a RCS for any future births.  The OB only knows what he has seen and the mother only knows what she is told and even though there was no negative outcome, both are scared of VBAC from then on.

As long as no harm was done, there is no reason to assume that it’s a dangerous situation.  The pregnant body is AMAZING, and if there is a problem with your uterus, most of the time it will send that signal to your body and labor may slow or even stop to protect itself.  Contractions may space out and be gentler on you than if you didn’t have a scar.  Embrace it and enjoy your labor.  Even when babies are stressed out, the body will get the message and contractions will not intensify, changing positions will get things going again, because baby is getting more oxygen and sending the signal to get going again.

NOW, catastrophic uterine rupture is what we are really afraid of.  It’s what we always *think when we hear the term “uterine rupture”.  This is when the baby literally breaks the uterus and is born into the abdominal wall.  You better believe that this will be painful and you will bleed and this is very scary and dangerous.  It accounts for a VERY VERY tiny percentage of the statistics.  It has most often been reported with labor induction and augmentation.  We hear a lot about this kind of rupture when we think of induction on a VBAC with cytotec.  

Find out if you have an anterior placenta (the placenta is on the front of your belly, near the old c/section scar).  An anterior placenta makes UR more dangerous and gives you only minutes to get to the operating room.

Do you have access to your OP reports from previous c/sections?  Do you know how you were sewn up?  Double sutures don’t matter quite as much as whether the OB took time and care sewing you up.

No one can promise you any specific outcome.  You have to be willing to be accountable for the risk of either VBAC or RCS.  No choice is 100% risk free…but statistically you are MUCH safer having a VBAC than you are having a 3rd c/section.

I will promise you that if you are not able to let go of the fear and apprehension, you will sabotage your ability to labor and give birth.  Please find a way to move past your fear.  I highly recommend a great childbirth class, yoga classes, stellar diet (to build strong, healthy muscle tissue), seeing a Webster-certified chiropractor (to make sure that everything is lined up correctly and prevent obstructed labor and decrease the risk of rupture) Make sure your chiropractor can come and adjust you during labor to help things move along or keep them going.  www.spinningbabies.com is the most amazing resource for getting and keeping baby in a good position so that you aren’t ‘stuck’ in labor.

Do everything within your power to have an uneventful labor and your risk of rupture goes down.  Belly breathing was HUGE for me in labor and I believe it made the difference between success and failure for me. 

Ultimately, you have to be willing to accept the risk of getting your baby out, one way or another.  Build yourself up and be positive if you go through with labor.  Read positive affirmations daily out loud. 

I'll leave out Abbey's phone number for the sake of this blog post, but she is a great resource for VBAC.  Her blog is a good read and full of helpful stuff for anyone wanting a VBAC, or just a plain-old good, informed, and empowered birth. There are several posts here about VBAC as well.  I hope you find them helpful on your journey to vaginal birth.

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Salt Drawing or Writing

This is a really great activity that uses many things found around the house. 

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Simply find a large plate or tray and stick down some coloured paper with sticky tape. 

It's a good idea to stick it down quite well or else you'll find salt gets behind the sheets and raises the paper sheets, which is not helpful. 

Cover the paper with salt. Initially I used lots and lots of salt but I found that it was much harder to write or draw in because I was constantly 'shovelling' the salt out of the paths that I was creating. 

A fine layer of salt will be enough. 

You can use this as a maths activity and create problems for your children to solve. 

It can also be a spelling or word study activity. 

Provide your child with the ending of a word and see how many complete words they can make. 

The coloured paper underneath the salt makes drawing fun and interesting. 

Great alternative to paper. 

I hope you enjoy this activity. 

It has been inspired by 'The Imagination Tree'. 

Feel free to email me any pictures. 

kate_lloyd@hotmail.com

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