The Fun Factor

Did you have fun at the party? Was it fun at school? We are going to have so much f u u n...! Tell someone about a place you visited or did something the first thing they are likely to ask is about the fun factor as if (how dare you feel other feelings) that’s the most important part of being a human means. 

We alter our children’s true feelings. We don’t let them feel what they want to feel. We shush them with there-is-nothing-to cry abouts and we deliver a message that only happys and funs are accepted. We don’t let them be bored. Thank Goodness for smartphones, ipads and other electronic devices...Why is it that we feel the need to make sure that our kids are entertained at all times? So what if your child went to a birthday party and it wasn’t fun or he didn’t have fun. Why is it that we always try to force-focus our kids attention towards the fun?
Is there something wrong with feeling frustrated, unhappy, dissatisfied, discouraged, bored, mad...Are we trying to raise kids who should mainly focus on the “fun” aspect of things/life? And with that aren’t we setting them up for big disappointments in life later? Because we all know life is not one big party and it is not and shouldn’t be fun at all times. There is a whole range of emotions out there besides being happy and finding fun. 

We unintentionally numb our children towards pain, compassion, learning a lesson from struggle, making mistakes and failing...We alter their reality and their inner world. And yet we are surprised that the number of crimes is rising and there is too much violence etc. 

I witness a growing number of parents who use an electronic device in restaurants to keep their child entertained while having a meal. God forbid that child should be a part of what I call it a human moment. How is she going to learn conversation skills? Patience? Manners? -----???

Let’s don’t talk about waiting in queues or going on car rides or...We discourage a young mind from thinking and feeling true, authentic feelings and prohibiting our children not to be in tune with themselves, and with others. Because if you are not in tune with your mind and body what’s the likelihood you will tune in to other peoples feelings? 

Having fun is fun. But I find comfort in solitude. I create more when I am bored. I go to a theatre when I want to be entertained. I see problems as challenges to be solved. And I don’t have games on my iphone for my child. 

I want her to wait in lines in stores and feel impatient, look around, observe and think. I want her to just be herself or count the buttons on her jacket. 

I want my child to have enough time to dream. I want my child not to be glued to TV after retuning from school so she can create. I want her to feel sad and other emotions and I want her to know I accept and acknowledge her in her many ways. She doesn’t have to be happy for me to accept her nor should she please me. 
Let's be real! Let's be authentic! 

Happy (fun) parenting!