I thought about how, even though inside I've broken an eating addiction and overcome a demon or two and achieved a great deal - for me, that I'm still the same ME. You won't see the inside, deep personal feat, you'll just see the outward result.. A much smaller framed me.
On the outside I will and currently do look different but on the inside I am the same ME. I'll talk the same, think the same and view the rest of the world the same.
It brings me to the heart... Regardless of ones size xs, s, m, l, xl, xxl it's really your heart that matters. If you are unkind, selfish, bitchy, nasty it's not going to matter how big or small you are. Your horrible. But if your heart is kind, gentle, serving and lovely well then your lovely, regardless of your physical size.
Which makes me wonder, why do we put so much emphasis upon what we look like? How we dress, shoes we wear, make up we plaster on, how we put up our hair, cover our greys, refuse to allow our bodies to get wrinkles while they stubbornly disobey.
Why don't we look inward and concern ourselves with things that people will remember us for... Our character... Who we are... How we present our selves.
Why do we not comment on the positives of others? "you handled that situation with your kid so peacefully and patiently". Know what I mean?
Often one of the first things I'll notice as I greet someone is how they present themselves (happy sad lost lonely ready for fun etc), after awhile I
Notice the meticulously chosen accessories to go with outfits (I'm still working on this one for myself lol).
Why don't we focus more on how we want to become inwardly that will express itself outwardly? I remember my Grandad chasing me up the street (he told me to come inside and I refused to be obedient on the basis he wasn't my mum or my dad! I hardly saw him!!) but I remember my Grandma as being loving and kind and sewing, knitting and talking with me and I remember her hiding the meatloaf from ME so I couldn't eat it before dinner time ;)
It's character that I remember most. Not physical appearances.
Know why I decided I needed to act drastically in my weight? Because I was tired of feeling so uncomfortable in my body. Tired of not finding clothes that fit. Over seeing what I look like in photos and in the mirror.
So here I am half way through my goal.. From a size 18 to a size 14... Goal is size 12. (excuse photo quality)
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